Ever have that feeling that things are about to happen and you have no idea what but you know somethings coming?

Maybe it’s just me, I tend to have stages where i can become very intuitive, somethings in the air, somethings brewing, but I just can’t put my finger on it. That silly psychic sense kicks in. It hits me at random times, something I still haven’t had the patience to control. But I have learnt to listen to it more recently.

Maybe its time for a tarot reading. I’m still learning how to read them properly.

It is officially the start of Yule for me, a witchy festival and its a time of feasting, a winter sabbat. So I may not be posting as much over the next two or three days. maybe a picture or two or a poem. Lots of baking and house wenchy type things going on, family time, just enjoying this time of the year. A key point to this sabbat for me is “afer death comes rebirth”… it can have many interpretations but I see this one as a turning point. The past year has been an utter hell to say the least so this sabbat is a time to shed all of that and move forward. Cleansing so to speak.

I have written one half of a story now I need to find time to write the second part, again this one will be different from what I wrote recently, its on the dragonfly geisha site, (the link is in the sidebar…) A very hard and fast punishment spanking story .. go on go read it and while you are there read some others. They had me melting *grin* a very talented bunch of writers.

It’s bloody late here and my eyes are falling out of their sockets so I am going to crawl off to bed, I have books to read but I have a lull in the reading addiction right now. I think I am needing a holiday just as much as my son is, it will be a good break. Two more weeks and I’ll have no son for 10 days. It’ll be the first time since ever for that long.

Ooo there’s a new word I spotted on Fetlife that I have become to love … hugglefucks almost as good as the word fucktards … yes I know … I have a potty mouth … hmm one could have snugglefucks as well

Oh and yes “have a ball thursday” was fun four hours of fun today, except I can’t wait till next thursday I have no self control so I may use them before then  *looks innocent*

Wow the blog had its most hits today, pretty weird actually.  I had a look at the stats and I have hits from all over the world.  Kinda weird that someone is so interested in what I write.  So instead I will concentrate on writing instead of freaking out lol.

The ben wa balls have become my best friend at the moment, rather delicious actually and I finished off with my rabbit hehe, very quietly.  It sucks having a flatmate grrr, but it pays the bills.  Two hours of ben wa today as well and happily wet and horny.  Well I was until I was reminded today by darling friend who is always blunt and puts things in perspective, how long its been since I actually had sex with a real living man.  One whole year, shit I haven’t been without for so many years, my sex life was over average with the ex lol. Then I got shitty because I was reminded so that put a meh on the day.

Two more weeks till the ex arrives from overseas and has our son for 10 days.  I am dreading it, wanting it over with so my son and I can get back to our little lives.  His father has no idea the impact all of this has on our son.  And the after effects i will have to pick up and console and talk through.  The little one doesn’t deserve this and sometimes it’s so damn hard.

I am waiting for some more wee toys in the mail and will inform you of their arrival and how well they worked when I actually see them.  I am getting bloody impatient hehe.  I love new things especially scrummy toys.  Spent about three hours shooting emails back and forth with my book supplier, I have a good $200 worth of books ordered and had paid for them a week ago, normally their service is the next day or two, nothing.  They said I hadn’t paid so I had to hunt through paypal and email them the order numbers and the damn paypal info, only to be told that they had located my payments and they were truly sorry for the delay.  Hmmppf I want a free book.

Oh and today my friend also went on a harley ride with a guy she picked up off a dating site, one night fling .. the safe call night… well I just got a text telling me he’s married with kids.  I had thought as much from what I knew previously and had only just told her what i thought this morning.  She’s giving me shit about not internet dating and here I am watching quietly as she goes through her second let down after thinking that they had possibility.  I told her; after she informed me that he wanted to be friends and have coffee dates, and she deciding she didn’t want to, that it was a good decision simply because he had lied to her, not a little white lie but a whopper AFTER he slept with her.  Poor girl, and I thought I picked em lol, and as usual us gilrs look after each other and carry on.

Not much to write about today, its been a busy one and now I am off to watch a DVD and curl up on my chair like a good little vixen … a quiet one for a change.

Loads of women have used these little delicate balls, loads of women swear by them, some think they are just a myth they don’t work, I am one who hasn’t until recently decided to try them and I’m curious.

I bought myself a set of wee silver ben wa balls a couple weeks back and haven’t really made the time to use them until the other day… first experience was hmmm well this is quite strange but great. I’ll explain…

After I had my son I went through the usual things most mums experience. One of these…worrying about sneezing too hard in case you pee yourself…

The birth of my son was an extremely difficult one resulting in me just about losing him, he was in intensive care for three days after his birth, having been resuscitated at birth. Thankfully he is a healthy growing lad now with no side effects from the midwife’s incompetence. I was basically too small in the hips and pelvis to accomodate for an eight and a half pound baby. I’m not a big person… it went from a relaxed home birth situation to hospital and the threat of forceps. I had been telling my midwife for well over half an hour that something was wrong and we needed to go to the hospital. I went through the birth with no painkillers, two and a half hours of full on pushing to get him out, I ended up with about nine stiches down below. I found out afterwards I should have had a c-section according to my “head of the department in a big hospital” midwife aunt. She was furious. I was furious and damaged more than I should have been as well as my son.

All this time I have had to deal with changes and the shit my body went through with my son’s birth. It is a beautiful moment to hold a child in your arms that you have bought into the world, that first sight of your baby. Jesus that sounds clucky, don’t worry I ain’t clucky and no I don’t give a hoot about biological clocks and all the other things parents tell me about having more … no thanks one is enough for me.

Anyways back to the sneezing … it made my whole body change including my poor center, I of course a wee bit distressed at all the changes I was dealing with. I absolutely hate stress and drama. It’s unhealthy for me. Everytime I sneezed or coughed hard … uh oh … I peed myself, what the hell???? Highly not cool and me thinking oh god this has to change. M had me on a daily kegels exercise regime, if I didn’t do them I would be punished, I did them and they actually began to work, and as a great side effect I became a walking bundle of orgasmic bliss. I wanted to do them, lol sometimes I would do more than the quota so he would up it a little. It was fun and it was helping me deal with an issue at the same time. A little one but never the less significant.

I decided it was time to get myself a set of ben wa balls and keep having this wee journey, after all what’s a girl to do hehe. She has to amuse herself somehow. The first time I was quietly disappointed, I felt them but I had this stupid notion that I would be running around all day in orgasmic bliss … not so, as I now realise… I need a little patience and alot more practice and experiementing hehe. I am actually sat here, occassionally getting up and down to do things, sitting in different positions playing, lol. Why the hell not. The more I use them the more fun I get out of them and also benefits, it’s a win win situation. Lol probably one of the reasons I really don’t like the idea of chasity belts, I’d go mad lol. I think I will make myself use ze little balls of pleasure for a few hours each day hmmm that could be interesting.

The house is quiet, its the time I like to write and at the same time I am sat here … well enjoying myself. *grin* they are the original style, silver and slighty weighted which I can feel, is such a gorgeous feeling, and they are fun to play with, so discreet and easy to use hehe and noooo one knows *giggle* well except for you bloody lot that read this blog alot. The kegels I have done have paid off as these are quite small and not like the ones that have a string holding them together. You use your muscles to hold them in hehe. SO far they ain’t falling out so I am doing something right and by god they make me horny. Num num. Thank god for toys!

Ben Wa Balls only provide light stimulation. However, many people argue that we should be more in tune with our bodies, that we rely too heavily on high-powered stimulus for easy gratification. While some people don’t have much of a quibble with that line of thinking, many others–among them Tantra enthusiasts, Taoist sex practitioners, yoga and meditation advocates and other endorsers of spirituality, health and sensual living–feel that we would benefit from a return to enjoying life’s subtler pleasures. It’s rumored that the orgasms achieved from using Ben Wa Balls are worth the wait. But ultimately, Ben Wa Balls can provide one very good benefit: with proper use, they can help to tighten and strengthen your PC muscle, which not only gives you a more desirable grip during intercourse, but also helps to control your bladder and prevent incontinence as you age.