Someone you have regarded as a good friend, whom you have opened your home and your heart to, been there for them through a myriad of personal crises of their own, put aside time to share things with, given that person trust in situations not many have been allowed, confided in and given the benefit of the doubt and stood up for them when things have come to the fore has done something that has left you hurt, shocked and disgusted. They have gone behind your back, gone to others you regard as friends, people you care about and respect. Has told them not to speak to you, not to interact with you, to blank you and have nothing to do with you, has said horrible things. Has told numerous lies/stories to manipulate a situation for their own benefit.

This all comes back to you from various people. I have no reason to doubt any of them. Infact it’s helped me understand what the fuck has been going on lately and why all of a sudden I was being ignored by people. The people this person has pulled into this farce have apologised profusely in which I have stated there is nothing to forgive as I do believe they have been hurt as much as I.

You confront this person, they won’t tell you anything, instead offering to ‘sweep it all under the carpet and start again‘ , still not actually explaining what ‘it’ is.

You ask for a face to face meeting to sort it out because at that point you didn’t know anything and want to make sure the friendship stays intact because you genuinely believe this person is good hearted. It doesn’t eventuate.

What would you do?

Now it’s my turn to apologise to every single person I have been manipulated into thinking was bad just on this person’s word. I should have known better. I’m sorry.

At this point?

I’m walking away. I’m going back to my private little life.

Yeah you know. Fuck you. I give you kudos. I never saw it coming. I should have seen the signs, they were there but you had my trust & friendship. I didn’t manipulate anything you fool. Don’t fucking project your own shit. Point the finger at yourself instead. I am not your fucking scapegoat for your behaviour. How fucking dare you.

Leave me the fuck alone. Get on with your life and I’ll get on with mine.

To those that have come to me in confidence and spoken out.

Thank you.

I love you guys. xxx

So it’s a lovely sunny Sunday morning here. I wake up, do mummy duties, clean the kitchen, have a playfight and connect head to cheek with kiddo and now sporting a bruised cheek. All good still smiling.

Then I decide to check my emails.

There’s this wee young chicka who posed a question in regards to finding a BDSM friendly tattooist to tattoo a slave register barcode. She’s young, early twenties and her Master is in his forties. People jump in and give their advice. Some of it positive and some of it a little worried that this is something that needs to be looked at more closely with some indepth thought.

A tattoo is permanent. She’s young. Maybe it’ll be a mistake. Maybe it’s totally fine.

I dunno but I have been around tattooist’s for years, hell I even got offered an apprenticeship but turned it down. I draw them for people. I consult with people and sometimes when it feels right I’ll work with someone to design something that is going to be permanently on their skin for the rest of their life. Some tattooists don’t give a flying rats ass what you get, it’s a job, it’s money. Others are artists in their own right and will sit with you and come up with some fantastical design that has depth and is something to be proud of.

What it comes down to though is personal choice. BUT if you ask a question in a public forum with open discussion be prepared to see views that don’t perhaps sit with your own. How you respond shows whether or not you can be an adult about it.

What pissed me off is I get an email asking about the moderation within the group from her Master because he wasn’t happy with the replies given, stating it wasn’t helpful at all.

Reading bewtween the lines this tells me there may well be some reservations about getting the tattoo.

He’s also not participated in the thread itself. Apparently people have been rude, judgemental (snorts … hello welcome to the world of BDSM), and plain not helpful at all ‘snikkers’.

I wanted to say suck it up buttercup. But instead  responded politely but logically and bluntly.

I am not there to mother members. I’m not going to censor replies that aren’t malicious. I also don’t respond well to him jumping in my inbox and complaining about people telling her to reconsider. I don’t like Dommy people in my inbox telling me what to do just because they had their feelings hurt and their domliness questioned. If there weren’t any doubts would she have posted the question. Tattooists tattoo all sorts of fucked up shit. A BDSM barcode is nothing new. Most tattooists are not that naive and kinky tats are nothing freaky.

It’s a tattooist for christs sake.

Barcode Tattoos …. (a history lesson)

A barcode is a system of inventory control and price checking that operates by using an optical scanner to read a series of vertical lines on a product. The system was invented and first used in the 1950′s and was designed as a way to increase industrial efficiency and worker productivity. Within a very short period of time the use of barcodes became nearly ubiquitous – they were everywhere and on nearly everything. Every time you through the line up in a grocery store or go shopping in the mall, chances are your purchases were rung up by reading the bar codes on the product or the price-tag.

The use of the barcode as atattoo design is meant to be ironical, a warning that if we are not careful as a culture, we are all in danger of becoming products ourselves. A barcode tattoo is also a protest against a culture where it seems that everyone wears the same clothes, listens to the same music and uses the same products. A barcode tattoo is a statement against a culture of commodities and a celebration of diversity and the uniqueness of the individual.

Personally I think  it would be stupid to get a generic barcode.  Thats just fucking boring. And so not unique.

But hey thats me and instead I wrote a polite reply.

There are people in the thread who are older and have their own experiences and shared and to be quite honest it’s stuff I have heard many times before. My own mother has a tatoo she got in her early twenties that she abhors now.

Either way it’s there for life. If things turn to shit it’s going to be a reminder for the rest of your life.

So at least spend the time to put some thought into it and make it look good.

So what do you think? Is a barcode boring and generic? Is this whole Slave Register thing just stupid and silly?

Would you rather have a tattoo designed from scratch that is personal and means something special that you have contributed to?

Is he being silly?

Fuck me sideways if he thinks the replies in the thread were rude then he would probably think I was just plain awful. ‘grins’

Here’s a big FUCK YOU to the media who have sent the wrong message out to people for years all in the name of consumerism and disgusting marketing behaviour.

“Seeking a talented submissive web developer to help me with a new kinky website… “

And this …

The ****** website needs to be redesigned. We need a GOOD webdesigner who can help out of the goodness of their hearts please.

Every day, there are more and more posts on the internet, forums, chatrooms and message boards such as these seeking “designers/artists” for everything from auto graphics to comic books to corporate logo designs.

More people are finding themselves in need of some form of illustrative service. But what they’re NOT doing, unfortunately, is realizing how rare someone with these particular talents can be.

To those who are “seeking artists”, let me ask you; How many people do you know, personally, with the talent and skill to perform the services you need? A dozen? Five? One? …none? More than likely, you don’t know any. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be posting on here to find them. And this is not really a surprise. There are almost twice as many neurosurgeons as there are professional illustrators. There are eleven times as many certified mechanics.

There are SEVENTY times as many people in the IT field. So, given that they are less rare, and therefore less in demand, would it make sense to ask your mechanic to work on your car for free?

Would you look him in the eye, with a straight face, and tell him that his compensation would be the ability to have his work shown to others as you drive down the street? Would you offer a neurosurgeon the “opportunity” to add your name to his resume as payment for removing that pesky tumor? (Maybe you could offer him “a few bucks” for “materials”. What a deal!)

Would you be able to seriously even CONSIDER offering your web hosting service the chance to have people see their work, by viewing your website, as their payment for hosting you? If you answered “yes” to ANY of the above, you’re obviously insane.

If you answered “no”, then kudos to you for living in the real world.

But then tell me… why would you think it is okay to live out the same, delusional, ridiculous fantasy when seeking someone whose abilities are even less in supply than these folks? Graphic artists, illustrators, painters, etc., are skilled tradesmen. As such, to consider them as, or deal with them as, anything less than professionals fully deserving of your respect is both insulting and a bad reflection on you as a sane, reasonable person. In short, it makes you look like a twit.

A few things you need to know;

1. It is not a “great opportunity” for an artist to have his work seen on your car/’zine/website/bedroom wall, etc. It IS a “great opportunity” for YOU to have their work there.
2. It is not clever to seek a “student” or “beginner” in an attempt to get work for free. It’s ignorant and insulting. They may be “students”, but that does not mean they don’t deserve to be paid for their hard work. You were a “student” once, too. Would you have taken that job at McDonalds with no pay, because you were learning essential job skills for the real world? Yes, your proposition it JUST as stupid.
3. The chance to have their name on something that is going to be seen by other people, whether it’s one or one million, is NOT a valid enticement. Neither is the right to add that work to their “portfolio”. They get to do those things ANYWAY, after being paid as they should. It’s not compensation. It’s their right, and it’s a given.
4. Stop thinking that you’re giving them some great chance to work. Once they skip over your silly ad, as they should, the next ad is usually for someone who lives in the real world, and as such, will pay them. There are far more jobs needing these skills than there are people who possess these skills.
5. Students DO need “experience”. But they do NOT need to get it by giving their work away. In fact, this does not even offer them the experience they need. Anyone who will not/can not pay them is obviously the type of person or business they should be ashamed to have on their resume anyway. Do you think professional contractors list the “experience” they got while nailing down a loose step at their grandmother’s house when they were seventeen? If you your company or gig was worth listing as desired experience, it would be able to pay for the services it received. The only experience they will get doing free work for you is a lesson learned in what kinds of scrubs they should not lower themselves to deal with.
6. (This one is FOR the artists out there, please pay attention.) Some will ask you to “submit work for consideration”. They may even be posing as some sort of “contest”. These are almost always scams. They will take the work submitted by many artists seeking to win the “contest”, or be “chosen” for the gig, and find what they like most. They will then usually have someone who works for them, or someone who works incredibly cheap because they have no originality or talent of their own, reproduce that same work, or even just make slight modifications to it, and claim it as their own. You will NOT be paid, you will NOT win the contest. The only people who win, here, are the underhanded folks who run these ads. This is speculative, or “spec”, work. It’s risky at best, and a complete scam at worst. I urge you to avoid it, completely.   (there are however places where this doesn’t happen)

So to artists/designers/illustrators looking for work, do everyone a favor, ESPECIALLY yourselves, and avoid people who do not intend to pay you. Whether they are “spec” gigs, or just some guy who wants a free mural on his living room walls. They need you. You do NOT need them. Say NO to free art.

And for those who are looking for someone to do work for free. Please wake up and join the real world.

The only thing you’re accomplishing is to insult those with the skills you need. Get a clue.

Using the term “submissive” designer is just another ploy to get free work. Shame on you.

I spent a lot of hard earned money and time to get to where I am in the Graphic Design world and I will not teach or share my skills for FREE. The knowledge that I learned is valuable and the skills I’ve gained are valuable find someone else to devalue.

I get so god damn sick of people looking for a free ride.So if you are a dominant type who thinks a submissive will do your work for free don’t be looking at this one. Instead you’ll get an earful.

End rant.

Dude pervs profile.

Impy goes and be’s nosey and pervs back. Meh.

A message appears in the inbox. Surprise!

Not really.

“Thank you for looking at my profile. Is there anything you need?”
(seriously this is one of the most unoriginal generic messages I see)

Impy rolls eyes. Ahem … dude … you perved I nosied end of story if I was really curious enough I’d have been back more than once or even better said hello.

I didn’t.

Impy replies …

“Yup. Coffee, flat white, no sugar thanks”

Rule number one: most women are not looking for instant sexors hook ups.

Be original. Engage in decent conversation.

‘beams’