And if anyone else tells you anything different?

Fuck em.

x

“Fantasies are more than substitutes for unpleasant reality; they are also dress rehearsals, plans. All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination.”

~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

There is a reason Mills & Boons books sell. Gor books, BDSM erotica, kinked movies & novels … because they are based on fantasy, a fictional fantasy

The stuff the above don’t generally cover is reality. Why? Because they don’t sell. Mortgages, trying to keep a job and pay the bills, bring up a family, go to meetings, attend university, fundraise for oh my gosh … vanilla events, sports , the stuff that all of us do.

Everyday.

Those people?

I like them because they have a sense of self. They don’t need to live by books or fantasies. They walk the walk and they go through the trials and tribulations of life. They understand their own sexuality enough to seek what they need without telling anyone else how they should be doing it. They share with friends their fears and joys, the hard stuff and the good times. There is respect and love and genuine understanding.

They are kinky because they like being kinky. They have nothing to prove to anyone.

They don’t have any need to.

The best part? They don’t need to tell anyone they are ‘real’ or ‘true’.

They just are.

And that’s what makes them beautiful.

On Wed, Feb 15, 2012 at 1:41 PM, Suzy wrote: What would you think if say your daughter wrote this for you to read b/c she just could not verbalize it face to face …so you have read it and would you really think that she was safe with this guy??? I don’t need and answer as I have my own answer ….in his own words he says that he is abusing her. (link removed because I think you are highly disrespectful)

You know going around spamming bloggers email because you have a personal issue with someone’s relationship setup is YOUR problem. I happen to respect the person’s you are referring to and find it utterly rude and not above board doing what you are doing. I’ve also forwarded your details and logged your IP address.

In reply to your ignorant question …

One it isn’t your daughter.

Two I think you have much better things to do than poke your nose into a relationship that has nothing to do with you.

Three Define abuse.Go on without referring to your own past. I dare you.

Four quit spamming my fucking email.

Do I think she’s safe? Define safe?

Dork.

Update: because they have troll fingers and no brain ….
The lovely reply I received…

A) You stupid fuck can’t you read I did not say it was my daughter I said what if it was your daughter ( you know imp’s daughter) got that.
B) the blog is public
C) I don’t need to define abuse that weirdo of a so called man described his actions as abuse…
C) spamming your mail LOL that’s funny …was it not in a public blog  ???????????

I’ll reply here because I have no wish to converse with a moron in my emails. I’m actually not entirely sure why you felt the burning desire to email me and quite frankly you are beginning to annoy me, and you are probably, if you haven’t already, going to annoy other bloggers which you seem to be taking their emails of that particular post. Yes the blog is public. Perhaps take a moment to read my post ‘Respect’ underneath this one…

You don’t need to define abuse? There’s my answer right there.

Yes spamming my email. This is the third one in 24 hours. Just because it’s on a blog I happen to comment on doesn’t give you an open door to send me incessant ignorant emails.

Every now and then I get the urge to write about BDSM stuff and then I hesitate. Mainly because i’m still plodding along, single and busy with life and decided that right now in my life there just isn’t enough room for an O/p relationship. I have done a lot of soul searching to get to a point of understanding how my kinks work.  I understand myself and how I’m wired better than I ever have and I get kink stuff just in a form that isn’t the norm for most people so I don’t really feel the need to write about it. There is this silly notion that unless you are doing things the way others deem it should be done, well, you’re doing it wrong.

I find it tedious and stupid most days and generally can’t be arsed talking about it all.

But.

I do get pissed off when I see random comments on blogs from people judging a relationship set up because they decide that blogger is doing it wrong. I get a little antsy especially when it’s been someone I have been reading and conversing with for a good few years now. I give a shit because not once have they ever told me I’m doing things wrong. Hell there are times when I read shit or see stuff and think ‘no fucking way am I doing that‘ or ‘omg that’s fucking batshit crazy stuff right there’ but guess what I ended up doing some of those things, my thinking changed and i grew in my own kink skin so to speak.

Along with time and discovering facets of myself came a sense of acceptance. I have had discussions with the big guy about why people do the things they do, and also talked about how just being there and now and not worrying about how anyone else does there shit is easier than sitting on a fence and pointing fingers. It’s kinda a good space to be. So when someone yells ABUSE! … I get ansty. I get ranty. He gets amused by how fired up and passionate I get over silly little things. But over time that has disolved into a sense of ” you know what if they are happy doing their thing that’s cool”.

How does it directly affect me?

Simple answer? It doesn’t.

I do care. I care a lot. Sometimes too much.

Don’t make judgements on a few posts that a person chooses to share because nine times out of ten … you actually know sweet fuck all.

The majority of people I know who are in O/p set ups are deeply in love. They have a dynamic that may not make sense to other people but it makes sense to *them.* And they are strong people, self aware people, they are human. And like any other human on this planet we are all here to learn, love and live our lives the way we choose. They have chosen this path for themselves. Sometimes I liken it to a warriors path because let’s be frank, many of them delve deep into the human psyche, they journey through pain, struggles and come out more enlightened, stronger and more secure in themselves, even if they do stumble along the way.

These women are not dumb. They are strong and courageous and they have someone standing next to them holding their hand as they jump of the edge together into places unknown.

Sidenote: Yes there are idiots out there, there are abusers, there are utter fuckwads but the people I chose to talk to and share some of my private life with?

Aren’t those idiots.

Before you comment or judge take a moment to think before your fingers hit the keyboard in a fit of douchery.

I have had douchery here a few times and it absolutely baffles me that a person can be that far up their own arse to think their own word is law.

It’s not.

Have some god damn respect.

~end rant~

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