I hate it. I hate saying it. It makes me feel like an insignificant pea. I’m not a humiliation slut which is probably why it makes me shitty.
I also loathe the word Master.
It’s fucking hawt when someone makes me say it. But normally I won’t. I’m a stubborn cunt.
I have never been a person that does what everyone else is doing just because they said so and that’s the way it is. I’d much rather have a discussion and come to an agreement as to what way I’ll address that person in certain situations. I have said ‘Sir’ under duress because I’ve had no other way of getting out of a predicament and it’s normally been to prove a point with a sadistic smirk from the said inflictor.
I’m not twue. I don’t intend on changing. Some people like me that way and I’m totally fine with that.
This post tonight from ‘that other place’ got me thinking. The person has a problem with the word Sir and it’s usage from a previous relationship. That word has now become null and void for that person and they are feeling guilt from not wanting to use it ever again.
I don’t see what the big deal is. It irks me in a sense because I see shit like that and I think … hang on a god darn tootin minute … you may be a submissive/slave/bottomy type girlie but you haven’t lost your mouth. If the situation arises and a person asks you to call them Sir and you have issues then bloody well talk to them about it.
TALK ….
There are plenty of other options … shit have a look around. Some people have alternatives that work just fine.
Boss. Captain. Master. Matre. Motherfucker. Sadistic bastard. Dude.
Point being you don’t have to be like every other Tom, Dick & Harry. You don’t have to be a sheeple.
Ultimately? Talk to them.
Me? I’ll use Sir when my hair is being ripped out at the roots and my eyes are bulging and some other nasty sadistic thing is going on causing my brain to implode … I have a low self preservation thing.
Heh.
Usually it’s Sir. Motherfucker! Owowowowow Sir dammit!
Kinda has a ring to it dontcha think?
Jack
on Nov 20th, 2011
@ 07:41:
I find that most guys/gals that demand to be called Master, Sir, Owner, Lord, etc are just fakers, players and wanna-bes.
We live a 7×24 D/s lifestyle. While plantation owners and such in the 1700s could expect to be called “Master” and such in public — it’s not as “acceptable” today — especially around minors.
Just as couples in vanilla relationships develop “pet names” for one another “Dear,” “Honey,” “Sweetie,” etc. — the same thing happens in a TRUE D/s relationship. “Pet names” that you only use in private, (behind closed doors,) means that your dynamic is only part-time.
Some people create truly new “names” for one another (aliases.) e.g. they forgo their birth names, and adopt some new alias. Many times, these are typical/standard/common names used in everyday life. Sometimes these names refer to a historical character, etc.
“Yes,” this allows them to be a bit more 7×24 with their “name-calling.” But, in MY opinion, this is still nothing more than character-acting.
I personally prefer the “pet names” that a couple develops over time — via trial & error. Example: My subbie girl once used the phrase “Daddy” during a scene. It was unnatural and uneasy and unwelcomed at first. I enjoyed her uneasiness!!! So, I made her use it a few other times. She REALLY struggled with it!!! It was more than just some title like “Sir” or “Master.” The word “daddy” has a deep-rooted meaning for most girls. Not every girl has the same definition of “daddy.” For some it’s bad. For others, it’s good and loving. For others, it’s truly unknown and lost. Anyway, she REALLY struggled with it in the beginning. After some sole-searching, however, she uncovered some of her very-real “daddy issues.” She knew what she WANTED from any man who would earn such a title. Then, she had a realization — that I was INDEED THAT MAN!!! She then WANTED to call Me Daddy! Almost overnight, she completely lost my birth name. She has even begun to share some of her “daddy issues” with her close girlfriends — and they have started to call Me Daddy, too. When we are in a crowded public place, she will often just call out to me — “D!!!!” The first time it happened, I recognized her voice, and thought that she was calling out to some girl named “Dee?” We don’t know a “Dee?”… I then made eye contact with her, and REALIZED that she was calling for ME — “D” — for “Daddy.”
she’s indeed 100% My pet, slave, subbie, and more. But, I now call her “princess.” It works for us. I can call her princess in both private, and public places. Everyone else assumes that it’s just an endearing term. But, she knows that there’s more behind it than that.
When we meet other Doms and such, I don’t expect her to call them “sir” anymore than I would expect her so call an unknown stranger “sir.” Her submissiveness is a “gift” — that is only given to those who earn and deserve it. Not all men (not even all Doms) deserve her gifts. What’s more, is that they earn this respect through ME (not her…) she can’t choose whom she serves. she has relinquished that responsibility to Me.
A plantation owner from the 1700s wouldn’t expect HIS slaves to call some OTHER man “Master.” Whys do people in the D/s community expect any difference?
I can indeed “command” My girl to serve/service another Man (whether he is a Dom or not.) Just because she serve/services him — does she call him “Master” or “Sir?”
Specifically in our case — she has never known her real father. he ran-out on her mother before she was born. So, is this man her “Daddy?” She has never met him…
“Yes,” whoever he is — he’s her biological “father.” But, he was no father-figure in her life. And, he’s by no means her “Daddy.”
Is the man who subsequently married her mother, and raised her as a daughter considered her “Daddy?” Her adoption and such was a family secret her whole life! She didn’t learn that the man who pretended he was her father (wasn’t really) — until she was married, and had a grown child of her own. Even then, it as an “accident” that the truth came forward. So, does this man (who lied to her throughout her whole life — and STILL lies to her this day) — deserve the title of “Daddy?”
“Yes,” she has some Daddy-issues!!! (To say the least.) But, I’d like to think that our dynamic/lifestyle helped not only draw these issues to the surface, but ALSO to overcome them! She is now “okay” with all of her family history. She cares nothing about finding a birth-father who abandoned them. He has never meant anything to her, and means even less with each passing day. Her “step-father” (and her mother) still “live the lie.” They STILL haven’t come forward to admit this whole situation and discuss it. But, My girl is okay with this. This is “par” for her/them and their relationship. My girl no longer seeks to find the “Daddy” in him. My girl has FOUND her Daddy — in Me. A title that I wear like a badge of honor.
So, titles like “Sir” and “Master” and “Lord” and “Daddy” and such may indeed rub you wrong in the beginning. They may feel forced (and indeed BE forced upon you.) It may take some time to “discover” yourself — and your proper pet-names for one another.
Sometimes, we indeed grow into our names/titles. Recently, I saw a dog named “Tank.” He was HUGE for his breed — absolutely the largest Labrador Retriever I’ve ever seen in my life. Who names a puppy “Tank?” Well, in THIS situation — someone with perfect foresight! Or, did he grow into his name?…
We are ALL products of our environment…
For YOU: As much as you might hate to hear this — the longer you remain single and sexless — the more independent (and dominant) you will become. Your are “Mommy-Dom” of your home and your young man. I don;t know you, and your situation. But, you are VERY LIKELY raising your son to be submissive to women. It’s not your intent. You probably just want him to treat women with respect and such? Treat women differently than you were treated? Be the “best man” to a woman? But, is that REALLY what creates a Dominant man capable of Leadership roles in his adult life? He’s just a product of his environment, too. If you want to make him a mover and shaker in his adult life — your need to learn to make him the “Man of the House.” You need to TEACH him aggressiveness and aggression. TEACH him how to feel/recognize it, channel and harness it — and APPLY it to meet his expectations/needs. Otherwise,he’s just going to be another thumb-based Momma’s boy who doesn’t know how to REALLY be the leader of a home (wife, children, job, etc.)
Did I go too far?… (probably…) Sorry.
I indeed HOPE your find the right MAN for yourself. I hope you find a Dom who cannot only serve as your leader — but, as the leader of your household and your WHOLE life. I hope you find someone who’s NOT a fake, flake, wanna-be, or pretender. I hope that you find a REAL man. A guy who’s good with his hands and everyday blue-collar tasks — yet, has a great head on his shoulders, earns a healthy living, and due to his leadership traits — either own his own business, or serves in a leadership role in some white-collar gig. I hope he EARNS your respect. I hope you want to scream his name/title from the rooftops — “Sir,” Daddy,” “Master,” Prince,” Lord,” whatever title you “find” for Him. Or, that you find peace with calling Him “Sir?” That you learn to TRULY surrender and WANT to call Him by whatever name/title He desires.
Fast-forward “hint.” There are LOTS of names, titles, phrases and such that we ALL take for granted. Their meanings become lost over time. Do you remember when saying you loved someone had REAL meaning? What does “love” mean today? For us, it doesn’t mean as much as it used to. For us, love is also “vanilla.” Saying “I love you” is like limiting yourself to meaningless missionary sex — watching the ceiling fan spin…
We believe love is indeed the “highest frequency.” But, it’s also a line in the sand of a D/s relationship…
In a D/s dynamic/relationship, we find the VALUE in pushing ourselves further — across the lines/boundaries of “love.” We relish the life OUTSIDE of the box — the Box-O’-Love. There’s more to life and relationships — MUCH MORE if you don’t limit it by just love. Invite LUST into your bedroom and your relationship — and see where things go?!!!!
Thus, we go through periods where we replace the words “I love you” with other phrases — like “You can sex me right now.” After all, if TRUE and ENDLESS love is implied, then why can’t your lover/mate sex you RIGHT NOW?!!! Doing this creates some interesting moments/scenes. From the moment you wake-up in the morning to greet each other — to something that’s said while passing in the kitchen — to something that’s said while out having a great time on the town. It becomes almost an order/command for one another to serve/service each other. Either person can say the words. But, can either person PUT UP or shut up?!!! And… Does it make you say “I love you” a bit less? Does it make you question your love, dedication, and devotion? Do you find yourself biting your tongue a bit more? Or, shouting it loudly and proudly MORE often?!!!!
Again, I probably went too deep and too far? But, I hope that it puts some of this title, word, and phrase stuff into perspective. By the length and depth of my reply, you can probably tell that words indeed have value and meaning to Me?!!! We should ALL “think” a bit more before we speak (or write.) We shouldn’t be so knee-jerk with our words. As much as I can ramble-on — I also learned the value, power, and impact of silence. But, that’s a whole-different reply.comment/posting…
Peace.
impy
on Nov 20th, 2011
@ 09:30:
‘blinks’
I am slightly insulted. Assumptions galore yes, too far? Absolutely.
I’m more annoyed for the simple fact that you made a whole pile of assumptions about my parenting and various other things. And I am picking you’ve not been a long term reader here.
As for the name thing? I am well aware how it works for others and myself. The whole point of this post was and still is … YOU CAN USE WHATEVER YOU LIKE. NO ONE IS DOING IT WRONG.
I have perspective. A fuckton of it.
Dangerous Lilly
on Nov 20th, 2011
@ 10:48:
Holy fuckballs, what an irritating comment. Not just because the comment itself is longer than the post, but the thought-train is hard to follow and the spelling/grammar sucks.
I find “Master” to be a bit silly, frankly. I’ll say it if I’m made to. Perhaps I find it silly because I’m still recalling the all of the online roleplaying games (of the gaming nerdy variety, not of the sex variety) where using Master or Mistress had nothing to do with BDSM, but was similar to Lord or Lady. But we’re not in medieval times. Also neither you or I are the type to ever be a “slave”
I’ve upgraded myself to bottom as opposed to submissive.
Dangerous Lilly´s last [type] ..There’s always one…
impy
on Nov 20th, 2011
@ 10:57:
He who beats me has no issue with my issue about that word and it’s usage.
That comment in regards to a life story I didn’t really need to nor want to know about was fucking long. Perhaps said person should get their own blog and share.
The major points that irk me is he is not only insulting me for a plethora of reasons but also any single mother, any submissive male and any lesbian couples that raise a son.
Hah ‘he’ is happy calling me a good little cunt. And other various words.
I am wondering if ‘Jack’ actually bothered to comprehend what I wrote in this post instead of inserting foot in mouth.
God forbid a woman can have her own mind and be comfortable with herself.
Master's piece
on Nov 20th, 2011
@ 11:04:
You know one was just going to drop in and say the owowowow preface looked strangely familiar. Of course having read the above one is now also glad to not be in a D/s relationship. All that having to be true sounds… tiring.
Master’s piece´s last [type] ..Nothing going on
impy
on Nov 20th, 2011
@ 11:06:
I like my fucked up world. All this pontificating gets bloody ridiculous.
hoodrat
on Nov 20th, 2011
@ 12:18:
OK, I’m not nearly as polite as our dear impy.
“I hope you find a Dom who cannot only serve as your leader — but, as the leader of your household and your WHOLE life. I hope you find someone who’s NOT a fake, flake, wanna-be, or pretender. I hope that you find a REAL man. A guy who’s good with his hands and everyday blue-collar tasks — yet, has a great head on his shoulders, earns a healthy living, and due to his leadership traits — either own his own business, or serves in a leadership role in some white-collar gig.”
I must be a REAL MAN because I’m good with my hands. I worked as a union construction worker for 14yrs. I went through an apprenticeship and gained my journeyman status. My Bossman, on the other hand, isn’t mechanically inclined at all.
Are you implying he isn’t a REAL man? If so, you’re so far off base the game needs to be called on account of too few players in the game.
He has ME to handle the grunt work. That is part and parcel of WHY he chose me. I bring skills to the table he can use to his advantage, even exploit if he chooses to.
You, “Sir”, are a fucking idiot. A misogynistic, misguided, brain-damaged FOOL.
hoodrat´s last [type] ..Head Games: Peek-a-boo, I see you.
Curvaceous Dee
on Nov 27th, 2011
@ 16:12:
Wow. I was going to make a polite yet interesting comment about words, and choices, and how I don’t really like Sir or Master or Mistress and in my relationships generally we tend to find and settle on our own and it works really well for us. (I am, variously, Boss, fucktoy, my love – depending on whom I’m with. And I am with my pet, m’Lady, my love etc for the same reasons. It’s what works for us.)
But Jack just gone done pissed me right the fuck off! Partly in claiming what a TWOO D/s relationship is (his relationship, of course). Partly for co-opting your space to blather on about his crap, without bothering to understand what you wrote. And partly for just being a total wally. Gah.
My word for now is douchecanoe. And it’s just for Jack. Oh yeah.
xx Dee
Curvaceous Dee´s last [type] ..In the air
impy
on Dec 11th, 2011
@ 00:07:
“we tend to find and settle on our own and it works really well for us” … absolutely agree with this.
Unfortunately it is blatantly obvious he didn’t bother to actually understand what i was writing about and yes it makes him look like a right plonker.