Wow I have had time off uni but been immersed in writing this book for my project and doing a whole pile of information design which needed my attention. I also have a delicious vampire erotica book sat beside me on the desk that is beckoning me to devour with my eyes, I’ll let you know how good a read it is when I am finished.

So today’s topic …Aftercare and musings ….

People do it. That aftercare thing. But guess what!  Some people don’t and it’s totally fine. Seriously.

I know that people spout on about aftercare, warm blankies, snuggles and all the kerfuffle but some of us actually don’t like it. I am one of those people. I generally hate being moddle coddled.  I know that after a freakin good play I am going to drop a bit, I’m aware my endorphin rush is going to end at some point and I am generally going to go downhill and feel like shit. What happens for me though is I go into hermit mode. I don’t want to be touched, I want to be left alone.  I know what I need to do to deal with the droppy shit. And it’s cool because normally one of the two check in the next day to see I am still fine and I am. I get really unsociable and anti people and just take care of myself at that point. Sleep, good food and mellowing sorts me out.

I am the same way when I am sick I hate being mummied and looked after, I put it down to being stubbornly independent and normally I am in charge of myself and sorting things so I am not so good at accepting defeat haha.

But it’s cool. All good.

I remember one experience with a dude that seemingly was experienced and had dealt with the drop aspect and I did my usual hermit leave me alone thing and it took two days for the dood to realise that I’d been dropping and go ‘oh I should have done something’. At the time it had pissed me off but in reality I had self managed it myself. They should be aware you are dropping. It is a process and it’s important to know enough about the person you are playing with to be aware that dropping after an intense scene is a normal process but not everyone is going to react the same way. As stubborn as I am it is nice to know that it is recognised and it is something a Top, Dominant or Master is aware of.

Talking about aspects of play, things that worked and things that didn’t really do much for me are part of the process too and usually happen a day or so afterwards when my head is clear.

I went a wee bit mental a couple days ago and I am thinking I need a damn good cathartic beating to sort me out. Either that or something needs to change course or step up a wee bit. It’s amazing what a good session does to get me on track and get my emotional tidal waves sorted when I get out of sorts. All the pressure from daily shit is released and I walk around like a smiley happy space cadet.

Meh for some it works, others it doesn’t. Twas quite amusing as a wee while back there was a discussion in one of the Fet groups I belong to about take-down play. It got quite heated and words like, abuse and violence were mentioned by a few small pea brains with no actual idea of what was involved or any understanding of RACK (risk aware consensual kink).  It was small minded and just sad. Anyhoos, a take down happened the other night with mates and I wasn’t there but it was with people I play with, and it sounded fantastic and fun, and I’m kinda bummed I didn’t get to see it but I would have sat there laughing through the whole thing.

One of them who shall nawt be named (cause I’ll get my ass kicked) was whinging about bite marks and I laughed and replied with “Suck it up Buttercup’ … one really shouldn’t say that to a Capital Lettah person … I will no doubt pay for my smartarsery when I least expect it haha.

Anyhoo the same people that were bitching about it in this discussion a while back and touting how ‘wrong’ it was and dangerous and violent …  now want them to do a demo at another event. It’s fucking hillarious really. Go figure haha. Really? I mean in one breath you have a go at people for a kink they enjoy, and on the next breath there is ass kissing because they suddenly want something.

Get a clue. Lol. Don’t be a condescending hypocrite. It’s okay to not feel comfortable with how someone else does something but don’t go telling them they are doing it wrong and then ass kiss because your pea brain was suddenly enlightened.

It’s insulting.

P.S. Apparently you need judo mats to do take down. Ima thinkin there should be fluffy pillows and cuddles and ummm tiaras to go with that too.

‘beams’

Isn’t it interesting when kink crosses over into mainstream …

Givenchy featured a leather mask in their Spring/Summer 2011 in Paris that created a stir in the fashion world. No one expected the French luxury fashion house to actually release the masks, but Givenchy decided to run with the Road Warrior-meets-Gimp look and will actually present the masks as part of their accessories collection next year. I think they are kinda hawt and freaky all at the same time. Masks scare me but these two I can’t keep my eyes off.

And what about ye days of old. Surely people weren’t debauched  back then with all the ways of the astute Victorians?!?! Why yes, I think they were.

Now if you find lovemaking far too strenuos ..gawd forbid! Then this chair, that was specially made for the devishly debauched Edward the VII, make me a great idea for a prototype if some of you are anything like the devious kinky inventors I know then I am sure you could turn this into something entirely deviant in nature … I’m still trying to get it into my head how this dude used it. Apparently he had one too many large breakfasts and extra meals and found love making too tiring so this was designed to make his life easy…

Apart from finding interesting wee snippets of amusement for you all  I have been sat here for most of the morning answering emails and funnily enough this reply in a thread I posted asking for help had me a little perplexed.

I’m sorry but call me cynical but is this some kind of arts degree that you are doing?
If not what sort of degree do you do that involves downloading porn/erotica of the net.
If you really want to get your head around the scene get out to the clubs and the shops and start talking to real people who play for real.
Then perhaps you will have something that has real validity, in short go and do some real work.

Uuuum wow. What the hell? Lol.

It was the same post I put here yesterday in a social networking site full of kinksters asking for help.

Now where on earth did I mention anything ridiculous as downloading porn off the net? ‘blinks’.

Let’s get this clear, I am designing a book, a sex positive book to portray the emotional, loving aspect of kink, the part online media and movies and all the porn sites DON’T portray because i am searching for the REAL stuff not online bullshit and surprisingly enough there are some damn awesome people on Fetlife who might be able to help me do just that. It’s a personal uni project that is a passion and we are expected to research a topic that we have a personal connection to. I had a huge conversation with my tutor and was a little worried it wouldn’t be okay but she was totally all for it and she has a degree in Sociology also so it’s made her curious as to how I will approach this. It’s not for money it’s from the heart and it’s a mixture of art which is a passion and kink which is something I also am passionate about.

Soooo …  weird online person that’s just plain rude and not being at all helpful in any degree.

Let’s see talking to real people? Check. Yes I do.

But you didn’t think to ask first.

Get out to clubs and shops. LOL again forgot to ask first didn’t ya? Yes I do already. But you would know that if you had genuinely needed further information.

Something that has real validity. I found that rather insulting and also insulting to all those wonderful people who have come forward privately with something to offer. Disgustingly insulting and very small minded. I also find it highly insulting that what I do is not good enough for this person’s tanglble idea as to what is work. Also speaking about validity .. do you really think coming into a public forum and attempting to belittle what I am doing is something people would regard as intelligent?

There thats sorted huh?

‘beams’

Some days I just don’t get why people have to be total asstards.

Signed Impy – Doin it wrong since 1809

I am currently doing a university project that is a book based on Kink and it will be a book that is intended for future generations to understand a culture, in this case the fetish/kink world. Its a huge project and one I will be busy with for the next few weeks. I have had the all clear from my tutor so now the madness and huge undertaking in research and putting it all together will begin.

What I want from you is what you think is important that should be included in the book. I’m looking at probably about 40 – 60 pages worth and it will consist of images, quotes and useful points of reference as in finding more sources of information available. It will have a graphic lean with images and arranged text as being the focal point for the style. It will be geared as a type of visual glossary with some areas explained a little more indepth than others, fetishes, S/M, D/s and M/s.

Basically because it’s such a wide a varied cultural topic I need your help. I’m also interested in anyone who wants to contribute images which will be acknowledged in the book if used.

This is not a monetary project it is a project geared towards me getting an A by having a well thought out approach and good research & ideas, nothing more. So if you are keen to flick me a message, a story of your own, images or anything else you can think of then feel free.

Feel free to flick me a message here or in pm or email vanillaimpaired@gmail.com if you are interested or have anything that may be of help. I have two weeks to gather as much research as possible before I begin designing. The finished product will be handed in for marking end of October so I don’t have alot of time.

No idea is silly either, it’s actually interesting what tangents can evolve from a simple idea.

I am thinking I may use a few snippets of my kinky erotica in it also. Don’t think you are not body perfect or worried about what anyone else will think, because i don’t care. I have a very specific idea in mind and it’s more to bring out the beauty of kink and fetish and open some minds rather than try and justify what we do.

You can email me at vanillaimpaired@gmail.com

It annoys me when people get so absorbed with their own shit that they forget real stuff is going on that’s a wee bit more of a big deal than their latest dramas. Simple shit like the fact they have a roof over their heads, food on the table and the basics. There are people right now not just in NZ but other places worldwide that have real issues to contend with right now.  Take a wee moment and remind yourself that things are not that bad right now and reach out to those who need it the most.

The aftershocks are still happening down South. Another 5.1 this morning. People have now lost homes and businesses and the reality is sinking in but amazingly no one has lost a life. I have watched in awe at the outpouring of love and care within our own kink community and how wonderful people have been, looking after one another and doing anything they can to help and keeping all those friends and family updated as to help subside the worry. Kids are traumatised with the continual amount of aftershocks still occuring on day 5 and it’s harrowing for everyone. There is still a risk of another big earthquake, they have estimated another one may hit at a scale of 6 within the same region or another may hit elsewhere in NZ and it has everyone on edge. Both islands in NZ sit on a multitude of fault lines and this quake down South is a new fault line that was undiscovered up until now.

So today is one of those days where I am grateful for friends and family and the things that I do have right now. Never take life for granted and when life throws a curveball, step back, then go full steam ahead and sort out the trivial stuff because it’s not worth wasting the time.

Footage of the quake

A new 22km scar

* 500+ Buildings damaged
* 90+ CBD buildings damaged
* Estimated cost of damage: $2 billion
* Magnitude of Saturday’s quake: 7.1
* 58 Aftershocks
* 245 Residents housed in welfare centres
* 15 per cent of Christchurch homes still without water
* 3500 homes still without power
* 300,000 litres of water transported to Christchurch by rail yesterday
* Distance of epicentre from Christchurch central: 40km