So I went to a fetish night with my lovely wee leather familee and had a fantastic time as usual. It’s a small event in a local club that’s just started and the idea is pretty simple, a place to mingle, meet people and have a casual munch where there is an opportunity to play, learn, talk to people and have a laugh. So far the last two events which are held monthly have been awesome fun.

There are new people who come along and curious to find out more about what BDSM is and that is cool BUT there is certain things people who are curious about BDSM and who decide to attend events need to be aware of. Most are common sense but sometimes for various reasons some people seem to think it’s all about sex. It’s not.

It’s NOT okay to go up to someone and grope them. If you are thick enough to think that being in an environment where there are kinky people gives you an open door to grope bodies you are seriously mistaken. It is like any other normal vanilla situation. Don’t be a fucking idiot. You would never walk into a supermarket and begin fondling a stranger, would you? Of course not! And yet, it happens often in BDSM clubs and private parties all the time. There are some egotistic Dominants who feel that all submissives – regardless of who might own them – are fair game. These dominants think nothing of approaching a submissive, and not only ordering them about, but helping themselves to the submissive’s body. Why do they get away with it? Mostly because newbie submissives don’t realize they have the right to tell this rude interloper to go blow.  Touching another person without their express permission is not only a rude invasion of privacy and the height of bad BDSM manners, but can also be considered a crime of sexual harassment or sexual assault. So think twice before you help yourself!

It’s NOT okay to be a loud mouthed twat while people are playing. Shut the fuck up and respect people. Cat calling and wahooo’s at every strike of a cane or a whip are not appreciated. You look like a dickhead. Interrupting doesn’t only mean interfering with the personal space that is present whilst a Dom and sub/s are playing – it also means interrupting the concentration of the Dominant and the sub-space of the submissive. There’s nothing more frustrating than losing your ‘flow’ mid scene! This is probably the absolute rudest BDSM breech of etiquette.

It’s NOT okay to think just because you drop your pants you are going to get fucked by a Dom/Domme who offers to turn your ass red. Sex is not always a part of BDSM. And people who indulge in kink are NOT always swingers. Never get the two confused they are two entirely different worlds.

Not only our bodies deserve the respect to be touched only with consent, but so too our belongings and clothes. DO NOT TOUCH PEOPLE’S TOYS UNLESS INVITED TO. Don’t get in a personal play space. It’s fine to watch (sometimes it’s polite to ask to watch) but be respectful of space and boundaries, don’t interrupt them while they are playing.

“Vultures” …These are men and women who have to be the first one to hit on every newbie who walks in the door. Getting that reputation in a small community will make you persona non grata quickly.It’s very noticable and highly fucking annoying and it will get you nowhere, it makes you look desperate.

Last night we had the pleasure of dealing with a complete asshat who thought a few of the above things were okay to do mainly being a loud mouthed fuckwit who thought it was funny to be loud and interupt play and cat call. He recieved my boot at one point, and at another I grabbed the cane of the Dom I was playng with and swung around and whacked him hard across the pants. He was sorely mistaken. Infact his ass will be feeling it this morning and no doubt his cock. Having a hard on and waving it at a Mistress resulted in a few short, sharp slaps, ice down his pants and a few rounds of an evil stick. By the end of it he realised that offering blowjobs and not understanding what he was boasting about doing would land him kneeling infront of two Dom’s and being available for a face fucking was BDSM. He opted out pretty quickly at that point and decided he’d had enough and was relatively quiet after that.

If you are going to walk into a club and start being a dick to random people you have never met that are wielding ‘implements of ouch’ then don’t be whinging the next day when you can’t sit down. You’re a fucking idiot.

And it will probably be the last time you will be welcome there. Just because I might be having my ass beaten doesn’t mean you can act like a cunt and think I won’t do something about it myself. I’m subbing to ‘that’ person I am playing with not some random fucktard standing on the sidelines. Infact I don’t give a flying rat’s ass who you are, only stay the fuck out of my hit range because I will hurt you if you fuck me off enough.

If you need to enlighten yourself on how to behave then feel free to have a peruse of this site … Etiquette – How not to act like an asshat or asshatess

Apart from the ‘token idiot’ we had fun, I even stood there like a good wee sub and held the glass of ice for Gorjus Miss to deal with the ‘pita’ (pain in the ass)

I have sore nipples, a sore ass and legs and arm from pinch marks. I was tied, beaten, caned and dragged around last night and I am still smiling, my rhino legs have nothing to show either!

‘pout’ LOL

I did say I got a package sent to me from Eden Fantasys recently? What an awesome way to wind down after this crazy first semester of uni. So anyways this is one of a few posts I will pop up over the next couple of weeks with a few things I want to share with you peeples,  because apart from doing design work for the next three weeks and looking after a child with chicken pox my life is not very exciting. At least I have kinky toys and things to play with!

Anyhoo what does Impy have now that is so fantastic she is willing to blog about it?

This post is devoted to a company I fully endorse. I love their products and I wrote a review on one of their yummy lubes back in November. I have run out of that fantastic stuff and am needing more. After I got that I haven’t really used anything else. That’s how much I love it. So I got curious again after reading another blogger’s review on a product I hadn’t tried and something I like to muck about with on ocassion. It can make for an interesting outing with a bit of added excitement so to speak …

Sliquid Organics Stimulating O Gel. Or simply put ‘clitoral arousal gel’ that has me humping the chair in less than a minute.   (poor chair heeee). It’s fantastic. But I shall get to that in a minute.

Fantastical Magical Humping Gel 'beams'

What I really want to emphasise is why I like these products so much. Sliquid organics have “earth friendly and women friendly products”.  On their website they state the following “all Sliquid intimate products are formulated with safety, especially women’s safety, as the number one priority”. And guess what, they are not wrong there. I had a good look at the ingredients used and as previously I am impressed. Many products today have ingredients that are not so body friendly containing ingredients such as Glycerin which basically is a sugar based product, so this means for women who are prone to yeast infections and UTI’s anything with glycerin in it can flare up this problem. Sliquid products do NOT have nasty glycerin in them, infact they go further to use natural ingredients and omit chemical based products and nasties that are not good for our bodies. Sliquid is paraben free, l-argine free and petroleum chemical free. They actually do give a damn about their consumers.

So I took a closer look at what ingredients are in the arousal gel and I am happy to report it passed my picky list of no no’s nasties. Instead it has me smiling.

Aqua – otherwise known as water. Fantastic stuff.
Hydroxyethylcellulose (or in easy english Cotton) – this is a natural substance which is used to create the thickness and substance of lube. Totally safe.
Aloe Barbadensis (the techie herbal terminology for Aloe Vera) & Hibiscus – these two are plant derived and both aid in the healing, moisturizing and soothing effects on the skin. And yes I should know I have a herbal degree.
Natural Tocopherals – Vitamin E
Cyamopsis (Guar Gum) – non toxic, natural additive that helps plant cellulose fiber move or in other words it’s what gives you that smooth slippery sensation and yes it works well.
Peppermint Oil & Menthol - natural oils that give this arousal liquid it’s magicalchair humping mojo.
Citric Acid – a natural antiseptic and astrigent and a cleanser … it’s also a natural preservative.
And organic extracts of Sunflower, Green Tea, and Flax which all have wonderful herbal qualities that only benefit this product.

Best part it is totally 100% vegan friendly and no animals were used in the testing of this product. And the bottle is 100% totally recyclable. That IS important.

Now the fun part. It’s really easy to use. You have a wee pump action on the top (see image) one pump and you get a pea sized dollop on your finger. All you do is massage it gently into the clitoral area and wait … It’s clear and non slimy, and pretty much absorbs straight away into the skin. If you decide you have far too much on it’s easy to remove with a little warm soapy water. It’s not sticky, there is a slightly minty smell and yes I did taste it because it could end up in ‘someone’s mouth’ … slightly minty but nothing overpowering. It is comp-atible with all toys and works really well with other Sliquid lubricants (you can check out all their awesome stuffs here). It is also latex safe and condom friendly. YAY. It’s also little and discreet so you can quite easily take this with you travelling out and about.

What does it do? After application you may feel a slight coolness developing. It then takes over the whole area you have applied it to (you can apply it to the vulva area and the lips) and it gives a deep sensation of coolness, it arouses the blood flow to the area and combine it with a little massage at the beginning and you are left with an obvious focus on your pussy becoming rather aroused and needy. Let’s just say I reached for toys pretty fast after using this wonderful humping lotion

So if you want a product that is totally safe, earth friendly as well as body friendly? I reckon you should check these guys out because I have not been disappointed at all.

I reckon they should have called it ‘Humper finds a Clue’ instead.

Jus sayin….

A big cheers to Eden Fantasys for sending me a ‘box-o-goodies’ for my time off uni … stay tuned there will be a review on a toy that apparently  ‘every sadistic Dom should own‘, a couple of things for ‘Exploring Kink’  … something Impy hates on her head, and a stingy thing I quite like oh and my favourite … a-book-o-smut because I joined a book club group.

$19.99Sliquid Organics O gel Clitoral gel by Sliquid LLC Buy from EdenFantasys

I went to the uni bar the other day with classmates and I got asked for ID. Too funneh. I had none lol. I don’t carry it anymore.

I stared at the guy and laughed and said, “look dude… wrinkles! You’re not fucking serious right?”‘blinks’

He stood there all staunch and shit and said “ID please”

I went to grab my wallet and looked and couldn’t find any haha. I don’t drive so I have no driver’s licence on me which is the standard ID thing used here.

I then got pissed off and looked at him and said “You know if this is meant to be a compliment it’s seriously backfiring about now …”

He then backed off and buggered off and i went and got myself a Jack Daniels.

Fucker.

BUT the good news is … I AM ON HOLIDAAAAAAY! ‘beams’ …. impy is gonna get into mischief hehe.

Fetish night on Sunday here I come mwuhahahaha.

Let’s see if some weird fucker does weird shit like random hand holding again …. ‘evil grin’

11.35pm Monday night.The past couple of weeks 2 or 3am and I have become best friends.

I.am.over.it.

I have just finished doing the last pieces to an assignment, video and web. It’s meh. My heart has just not been in this project nor paper. So meh it’s done, I have a little bit of writing to do tomorrow and then I am ready for a presentation on Wednesday. One more thing to finish which is a digital assignment and that will take me a couple of days and I am done and dusted for the semester. In between I have three bookbinding classes to complete, typesetting, book bindery and japanese binding So yeah I am still freekin madly busy and I have really had enough of this semester. I have been getting B+’s to A’s so I’ve been more than pleased with myself

What’s been going on in Impyland? Not a hell of alot actually. Seriously between uni and mummy stuff I’ve not had much time for fack all of late with all my assignments being due at once. I am craving catching up on a few blogs and reading some non design books and basically having some creative downtime. To make it even moreso it’s the middle of Winter here and it’s cold and wet and windy and all I wanna do is hibernate and write.

When I do get some time out which should be at the end of next week then watch out I’m itching to write up a storm hehe.

Oh yeahs a funneh for you all while I am tinkering away here…

Don’t Even Reply
“This is a collection of e-mails a dude has sent to people who post classified ads. His goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off. ”