So I went to a fetish night with my lovely wee leather familee and had a fantastic time as usual. It’s a small event in a local club that’s just started and the idea is pretty simple, a place to mingle, meet people and have a casual munch where there is an opportunity to play, learn, talk to people and have a laugh. So far the last two events which are held monthly have been awesome fun.

There are new people who come along and curious to find out more about what BDSM is and that is cool BUT there is certain things people who are curious about BDSM and who decide to attend events need to be aware of. Most are common sense but sometimes for various reasons some people seem to think it’s all about sex. It’s not.

It’s NOT okay to go up to someone and grope them. If you are thick enough to think that being in an environment where there are kinky people gives you an open door to grope bodies you are seriously mistaken. It is like any other normal vanilla situation. Don’t be a fucking idiot. You would never walk into a supermarket and begin fondling a stranger, would you? Of course not! And yet, it happens often in BDSM clubs and private parties all the time. There are some egotistic Dominants who feel that all submissives – regardless of who might own them – are fair game. These dominants think nothing of approaching a submissive, and not only ordering them about, but helping themselves to the submissive’s body. Why do they get away with it? Mostly because newbie submissives don’t realize they have the right to tell this rude interloper to go blow.  Touching another person without their express permission is not only a rude invasion of privacy and the height of bad BDSM manners, but can also be considered a crime of sexual harassment or sexual assault. So think twice before you help yourself!

It’s NOT okay to be a loud mouthed twat while people are playing. Shut the fuck up and respect people. Cat calling and wahooo’s at every strike of a cane or a whip are not appreciated. You look like a dickhead. Interrupting doesn’t only mean interfering with the personal space that is present whilst a Dom and sub/s are playing – it also means interrupting the concentration of the Dominant and the sub-space of the submissive. There’s nothing more frustrating than losing your ‘flow’ mid scene! This is probably the absolute rudest BDSM breech of etiquette.

It’s NOT okay to think just because you drop your pants you are going to get fucked by a Dom/Domme who offers to turn your ass red. Sex is not always a part of BDSM. And people who indulge in kink are NOT always swingers. Never get the two confused they are two entirely different worlds.

Not only our bodies deserve the respect to be touched only with consent, but so too our belongings and clothes. DO NOT TOUCH PEOPLE’S TOYS UNLESS INVITED TO. Don’t get in a personal play space. It’s fine to watch (sometimes it’s polite to ask to watch) but be respectful of space and boundaries, don’t interrupt them while they are playing.

“Vultures” …These are men and women who have to be the first one to hit on every newbie who walks in the door. Getting that reputation in a small community will make you persona non grata quickly.It’s very noticable and highly fucking annoying and it will get you nowhere, it makes you look desperate.

Last night we had the pleasure of dealing with a complete asshat who thought a few of the above things were okay to do mainly being a loud mouthed fuckwit who thought it was funny to be loud and interupt play and cat call. He recieved my boot at one point, and at another I grabbed the cane of the Dom I was playng with and swung around and whacked him hard across the pants. He was sorely mistaken. Infact his ass will be feeling it this morning and no doubt his cock. Having a hard on and waving it at a Mistress resulted in a few short, sharp slaps, ice down his pants and a few rounds of an evil stick. By the end of it he realised that offering blowjobs and not understanding what he was boasting about doing would land him kneeling infront of two Dom’s and being available for a face fucking was BDSM. He opted out pretty quickly at that point and decided he’d had enough and was relatively quiet after that.

If you are going to walk into a club and start being a dick to random people you have never met that are wielding ‘implements of ouch’ then don’t be whinging the next day when you can’t sit down. You’re a fucking idiot.

And it will probably be the last time you will be welcome there. Just because I might be having my ass beaten doesn’t mean you can act like a cunt and think I won’t do something about it myself. I’m subbing to ‘that’ person I am playing with not some random fucktard standing on the sidelines. Infact I don’t give a flying rat’s ass who you are, only stay the fuck out of my hit range because I will hurt you if you fuck me off enough.

If you need to enlighten yourself on how to behave then feel free to have a peruse of this site … Etiquette – How not to act like an asshat or asshatess

Apart from the ‘token idiot’ we had fun, I even stood there like a good wee sub and held the glass of ice for Gorjus Miss to deal with the ‘pita’ (pain in the ass)

I have sore nipples, a sore ass and legs and arm from pinch marks. I was tied, beaten, caned and dragged around last night and I am still smiling, my rhino legs have nothing to show either!

‘pout’ LOL