“It made my vagina angry for a week!”

“Every sadistic Dom should own one!”

“Rough sex in dildo form”

“Not for the faint of vagina”

Can you blame me for being curious? I had to try it, what is so scary about a dildo, c’mon really? Hell I’m a bloody masochist I gotta like it right? Well I did, rather a lot.

Meet my new friend Pikilo, the name is derived from the universal language ‘Esperanto’ and Pikilo means ‘spiked or prickly’.

SinFive are a German manufacturer that make beautiful high quality sex toys and the Pikilo is no exception. It’s touted as more of a BDSM toy because it’s rather girthy, 8 inches in length, that of which 6 1/2 inches are insertable and the diameter is a nice rotund 1 3/4 inches so it’s not for the faint hearted. It also sports a series of nubs around the whole toy from top to bottom which SinFive calls ‘love knots’, I prefer to call them ‘nubs that will make your vagina scream mercy’ especially if you don’t have enough lube with this wee beastie. Note one: USE LUBE, LOTS OF IT. The nubs are designed to grab at your skin and create a sensation when thrusting or twisting and they do just that and if you enjoy intense sensations then you may well enjoy this dildo. I didn’t find it hurt, I could definitely feel them but they were not overly intense to the point I didn’t want to use it, infact I love it so much it’s been my reach for toy of late.

It is hellishly easy to clean with warm water and soap or with a toy cleaner. SinFive’s dildo’s have an antibacterial agent in the material that is activated when used with water so it’s in a sense extra helpful in helping keep germies away. It’s compatible with water based & silicone lubricants which makes for an all round fun toy. The dildo is non toxic, body safe derived from a thermoplastic elastomer. It’s slightly squeezable and bendable and it has a funky removable suction cup on the base that you can screw on or off and if you feel like some hands free fun then Pikilo will suction onto a coffee table, laminated surface and even the shower surfaces or the bath. It has no batteries (it doesn’t really need any with its evil bevvy of ‘love knots’) and it’s fully submersible and 100% waterproof so you can even use it in the pool or a spa hehe.

The Pikilo is latex, silicone and phthalate free and comes with a one year full warranty. Now how many toys give you a guarantee like that huh? SinFive proves itself and it’s workmanship by offering you a warranty on it’s dildos.

Along with the dildo you get a few wee surprises in the package … A black velvet pouch with white ribbon, ample room to store your toy in it. The warranty card entitles you to a free two hour Tantric Sex Video, a booklet with all of the SinFive products available and the best part?

Five 3ml vials of long lasting vegan bodyglide by ‘D’Laros’ better known as lubricant. You get to try five different types, fragrance free, revitalising, sensual, fruity and vanilla and they are divine. A few drops will go a long way. The bodyglide can also be used for massage.

For the color picky ones you have a choice of three shades of color … shale black which is what I have kind of a charcoal grey/black, flame (red) and plum (purple).

Am I impressed? YES

Is the Pikilo for a beginner or size shy person? Probably not. It is large and intense.

Perfect for BDSM play? Oh hell yes!

Thanks you Carrie Ann and Eden Fantasys for letting me have the opportunity to play with a toy that resembles a baby cactus I had fun!

$79.95SinFive Pikilo Dildo by Wolwin GmbH Material: WTP Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

It’s midnight again hah! Ongoing fucking theme here atm.

Anyone got any spare matchsticks to keep my eyelids open?

I just finished a video for a review I am going to plonk on here hopefully tomorrow … that evil sadists toy hehe. I’m too damn tired to write anything substantial right now so I’ll wait till I have had some sleep.

I just had an idiot email an hour ago (11pm) me expecting a full web template by tomorrow  …. ‘blinks’ … supplies no brief, no details other than a link to the product they are using, then asks me if I have a fully designed wordpress template ready made for them to use.

Excuse me but since when has fucking a graphic designer’s job been akin to McDonalds fast food production? Less than 24 hours, fuck anyone else I might be doing work for, I’ll drop everything for you since I haven’t heard from you, an old client who gave me a couple of jobs over 2008 xmas, and I haven’t heard from again. No brief? Oh thats right even though I have spent time showing you what I need previously, after waiting for a reply for two months you randomly get back to me concerning a job I’d done for you …waiting to proof it for the finals and get paid fully …

Fuck off.

Seriously no.

Anyhooo what has impy been doing to be so quiet on here while shes got time off uni? Working and being a mum. Fun stuff huh?

I stupidly opened my mouth that never stops running and told my one of my lovely sadists that I am not getting bruises very easily and I have a bad case of the Rhino legs and butt and arms …. I am a dick. Srsly. Today I had my ass spanked, thighs slapped and freekin ears flicked. All the things I hate. They make me shitty. Impy gets the angry on. And then because I get pissed off I lash out which gets me more slaps. Then the lovely sadist decides to phone the other one and they start scheming and discussing what they shall do to remedy this ‘problem’ of Impy’s.

I swear ima gonna find a hidey hole to run away to.

Oh yeah and I quit smoking about three or four weeks back. I have had two episodes of drunkeness and caving and smoking whilst pissed as a newt and been totally fine the next day and not wanted any nicotine so fuck knows whats up with that lol.

Next week a zoo trip ‘beams’

Photography here I come!

So I’ve had a week off from uni and another three before I get stuck into the second semester. The weird thing is it feels strange to not be under huge amounts of pressure all of a sudden, I don’t know if that’s normal but I like being crazy busy all the time. The little guy had a full on bout of chicken pox and has been home all week, ironic timing. He came up to me on Saturday morning last week and said he had some ‘mozzie bites’, like me he’s allergic to insect bites and generally swells up something silly, I looked and immediately went and looked at the rest of his body .. yup tell tale spots, by Sunday afternoon he was covered in chicken pox. I am so glad he got them this week and not last week as it would have had me screwed for my final assignment and presentation hand ins. So yeah he’s off to school in the morning and I’m off to the office to get some graphics projects sorted. While I was at home this week I’ve managed to win a design contest and have hopefully another one snaffled. I am about to pop another review up here and write a couple more for the EF site.

I haven’t really got much to blog about these days, uninspired and generally brain fried so it kinda sucks. Then it seems to spiral because I stress about not writing anything and then sit down to write and get pissed off at myself because I sit here with a blank post page and go ‘uuuummmm’. I did have a wee giggle and a few raised eyebrow movements whilst checking my stats and search terms for the blog tonight so ima gonna share.

‘puppetry of vagina’ … for some reason it reminds me of a muppet but with a vagina face. O_O

‘things to stick in your clit’ … well if we are talking about piercing there’s a few things but if we are talking about sticking random objects in one’s clit? Well fuck me sideways you can?!?!?! I don’t think I want to know nor am curious about it. Did you even stop to think about what you typed?

‘stripey sock porn’ .. I AM SOOO THERE!

‘impaired fuck’ … ummm ‘blinks’

‘fuckong a broom’ …‘girl uses a nimbus 2000 as a dildo’ … wow harry potter porn. Awesome. Ergghhh.

Now the interesting thing is I decided to get a little curious as terms relevant to this popped up more than once so I googled ‘nimbus 2000 dildo’ and lookie what impy found …

“New Harry Potter Broomstick a Personal Vibrator for Kids?”

“Fail Toy Video”

‘sadomasicism how to’ … somehow I think recommending SM101 ain’t gonna help this person, I’m not sure anything will

‘hairlots’ … I’m asuming they meant ‘harlots’ or mebe they were looking for slutty wigs instead?

‘weirdo repellant’ … Yup it’s called MACE

‘where are the dominant masters located’ …In freekin Kazakhstan nah lol, in little red riding hood’s grandmas house. Seriously what a stupid question.

‘meds you can take to prevent BDSM sub drop’ … be my guest if you want to fuck about with your body and use drugs. Clever.

‘inserting the Hitachi wand’ … I spent a good amount of money on my wand and inserting it would be kinda dumb. Kinky fucker

Hmmm there were loads of ‘tentacle’ references and the ‘totem pole dildo’ always comes up constantly in search terms which relates to one of my EF reviews from ages ago. I kinda wonder if someone out there is seriously hooked on the idea of totem pole sex. Ouch!

Anyways that’s me for the day it’s currently near midnight, I went to bed at stupid’o'clock this morning (4am) and I need some sleep.