• Author: vanimp
  • Published: Jan 31st, 2010
  • Nips & Bites: Comments Off

Four things …

Let’s see I’ve done feck all except get my ass kicked in memory and monopoly by a six year old. My stubborn streak made me want to keep playing monopoly for a ridiculous amount of time until he caved and said he was hungry … he still kicked my ass. Tinbum. Meh.

My back has been a bitch for the last couple of days so I’ve not gone near the computer alot, instead I had an OCD urge and went through all of my paperwork and bedroom jumble and cleaned out a whole pile of stuff and re-organised a whole pile of stuff. Heh.

So on that note …  it’s a meme today …

if you wanna play feel free …

1. Four jobs you’ve had in your life

  • Dressage Groom
  • Art Teacher
  • Screenprinter
  • Avon Lady (haha yes …   shut . up. )
  • 2. Four jobs you wish you had

  • Veterinarian
  • Horse Breeder & Trainer
  • Bed & Breakfast Owner
  • Author
  • 3. Four movies you can watch over and over again

  • The Notebook
  • Blow
  • Queen of the Damned
  • The Bucket List
  • 4. Four TV shows you love to watch

  • Fringe
  • Lost
  • Sons of Anarchy
  • The Vampire Diaries
  • 5. Four websites you visit daily

  • Smashing Magazine
  • Fetlife
  • 99designs
  • Crowdspring (yeah mostly geeky ones)
  • 6. Four of your favorite foods

  • Meat
  • Sushi
  • Milky Bar
  • Red Bull (it’s a food group :P )
  • 7. Four things you won’t eat

  • Pumpkin
  • Avocado
  • Over cooked vegetables YUCK
  • Processed Cheese Slices
  • 8. Four things in your bedroom

  • A huge pile of web design and photoshop magazines
  • Loads of books
  • My dogs ashes
  • A scooby doo toy
  • 9. Four things you wish you had in your bedroom

  • Four poster bed which converts into devious fun
  • a naked man in my bed would be nice right now
  • an ensuite with a spa bath
  • if we are talking right now … chocolate
  • 10. Four things you’re wearing right now

  • umm haha sunglasses, pentagram, nailpolish, earrings
  • 11. One place you’d rather be right now

  • in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with a view of the sea
  • 12. One fictional place you’d rather be right now

  • On a tropical island somewhere, there’s loads of them in movies hehe
  • 13. Four people you’d really love to have dinner with

  • Sean Connery (he’d totally sate my accent fetish)
  • Sydney Poitier
  • Johnny Depp
  • Peter Jackson
  • 14. Four things you’re thinking about right now

  • I want a coffee
  • I want chocolate
  • I want to watch a good movie but I dunno what movie to pick
  • Fuck need to get work done but I think I shall go read and give my back a break
  • 15. Four of your favorite things/people

  • knee high socks
  • corsets
  • doing anything arty
  • music … MUST.HAVE.MUSIC
    • Author: vanimp
    • Published: Jan 29th, 2010
    • Nips & Bites: 11

    Impy Does Tentacle Sexors

    Seriously.

    A bluey greeny tentacle all glowy and shit. I had lots of fun playing light saber tentacle star wars re-enactments too ‘beams’

    Now before I begin … go read this … then come back and keep reading. Seriously there’s a reason why. Read it? Finished it?

    Okay now … that was really hawt wasn’t it? (If you didn’t go read it … go do it or you won’t get the rest of this post) … I’m waiting….

    Now you have a little insight as to the fantasy of tentacle sex there is a curiosity perhaps as to how one could possibly sate this fantasy with the use of a sex toy that looks and feels like a tentacle.

    Remittance Girl explained it well in a recent post looking for writers who would like to submit erotica in this taboo genre …

    “What interests me, sociologically, about tentacle erotica is that it is still serving that same purpose of allowing us to metaphorically indulge in aspects of sexuality which society still considers taboo.  First and foremost among these, for me at least, is the involuntary congress with the strange. But the spectre of being pleasured against one’s will, the possibility of multiple synchronous penetrations, the fetishizaton of fluids, the organic bondage aspect and, for some, the impregnation possibilities are all  things which fire the imagination.”

    What gets me after doing some research and reading up a little on this fascinating erotic fantasy is it can be seen to deal with the non consensual aspects. Being held down, stripped naked and every orifice penetrated by tentacles probing, fucking and being covered in some slime like substance and alien type cum. It’s sick, it’s dark and it’s taboo.

    In Japan it’s a huge aspect of hentai and anime porn.

    Imagine being caught by one freakishly ugly and very perverted monster that loves fucking chicks using his miriad of tentacles. Your hands and legs are held down by strong tentacles that wrap around your limbs and pin you down, tearing off all of your clothes, spreading your long legs wide open and then pushing  his huge tentacle deep inside your pussy. You cry out and suddenly your voice is muffled with another tentacle pushing itself inside your hungry mouth. Another tentacle is playing about the opening of your ass. Other tentacles are groping, squeezing and sucking on your nipples …

    You get the idea huh?

    Still not sure? Perhaps you need more convincing?

    Why not have a play…

    Now if that has you curious enough you can sit down and watch Impy waffling about how she got this freakish toy to try out and her experience (plus my weird kiwi accent hehe)


    Feel free to read my review too. If you have tentacle fantasies then this toy could be the one to sate them. And hell even if you don’t want tentacle sexors it’s an awesome desk ornament for seafaring lovers and octopus enthusiasts!

    I now want robot sex. *nods*

    product picture
    $85.99Tentacle
    Dildo by Whipspider rubberworks
    Material: Silicone
    Safety:

    A big thanks to Carrie Ann & Eden Fantasys for allowing me to have some freakish fun!

    (pssstt by the way, all the red text? … they are surprise links to all sorts of things lol .. some are NSFW)

    ;)

    • Author: vanimp
    • Published: Jan 28th, 2010
    • Nips & Bites: 16

    Freedom ~ HNT

    There’s a wonderful saying Biddable coined and I love it …

    YKINMKAIPDGAFWYKI
    (Your Kink Is Not My Kink And I Personally Don’t Give A Fuck What Your Kink Is)

    It’s not meant to insult. It’s not meant as anything much but simple acceptance that everyone that does the BDSM thing does it their own way. As long as it doesn’t impede on me personally I don’t give a fuck what you do. I don’t. As much as there are some things out there that completely freak me out and cause me to go eeewww fuck no that’s wrong! It’s because it’s out of my comfort zone or it’s something I just cannot fathom being comfortable doing. It’s not right for me.


    So if you can live by the YKINMKAIPDGAFWYKI philosophy
    Feel free to click …


    rough body play.
    I likes it.
    It gets rid of rage and angries.
    The hurt feels good.
    The after effects only visual.
    Inside calm.
    Iceberg shots … I haz dem.
    Those are the nice ones.

    HNT_1

    © 2009 vanillaimpaired.com. All Rights Reserved.

    This blog is powered by lint otherwise known as dust bunnies and various other mythical creatures.

    Why write boring crap in the footer when you could write something utterly ridiculous and make people giggle instead.

    P.S If you have discovered the location of the sock monster; please advise immediately as my valuable stripey sock fetish is being compromised.

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