I was going to sit here and write a Flash Fiction Friday but I’m in a rather pissed off mood so instead I’m going to rant.
We have four kids in our household ranging from 5 to 12 years. It’s a pretty full on household. My son’s father isn’t about, he chooses to live in another country so I solo parent. I don’t have a lot of family support either. I spend every morning getting kids organised for school, 5 days a week. After school is homework time, cooking time, being involved with the kids. During school hours I work, at night at least 3 nights a week I can work till midnight. On top of that I write, I work on personal projects.
Weekends are always full on with never a dull moment. Molten and I often spend Saturday mornings with the children baking, catching up on household things that need doing and sometimes we take the kids on excursions. Family time and relationships are highly important. The children (3 of them) go to their father’s on Saturday nights and spend time with him. The little one quite often asks to go too as we have become one big family, his relationships with the kids and their Dad is close and I am grateful he has a male figure in his life to have a close bond with. I rarely get any time to myself. I get peopled out very easily. I love my son to bits, he is number one in my life. I am also aware that i need downtime to recharge and give him my best.
I’m sat on twitter this afternoon talking to friends. I don’t go on it for numbers, I go on there because I get to have wee chats with people I have got to know through blogging. It’s a nice way for me to keep in touch yano? What I don’t fucking appreciate is some random person who chooses to follow me yet never say hello …. abusing me for this …
Me: “Wooo 20 minutes and I am childfree for a good 24 hours” (apparently I was bragging and gloating about it according to mista asshats opinion … ahem )
Asshat: “i cannot stand seeing tweets from parents that relish in getting rid of their kids for their selfish needs. i give a hearty “FUCK YOU”"
Me: @XXXXXXX I hope that wasn’t aimed at me
Asshat: i am promptly deleting your ass!!! i am SO PROUD to be a Dad and HATE those that make absurd statements when they can get rid of theirs!
I am not going to sit here and justify whether you deem me to be a good parent because I fucking damn well know I do a good job. I have a healthy, happy son. What I don’t appreciate is judgemental crap on whether YOU think it’s okay or not as an adult to have a little healthy downtime. It means tomorrow by the time I see my little cherub he’ll get squishy huggles and kisses rained upon him. We’ll sit together and snuggle as he tells me of all his escapades and the fun things he did. Hell I wasn’t locked in a house and breathing down my parents necks 24/7 I had weekends away and I had fun. I hope I can provide those fun times for my son.
And excuse me, but who died and made you God? If I am happy about getting some time out to catch up on sleep, work (which happens to provide for him) while he is away so he can have mummy time when he is back, and recharge what the fuck is so wrong with that?!?!?!
Get off your fucking moral high horse and quit assuming you think you know shit when in reality you don’t know crap. In fact take a break from your computer. you obviously need to if you feel the need to go about abusing total strangers.
Yes, you have gained immediate ASSHAT status.
My twitter won’t miss you either…
I encourage those of you who are parents to share your views. What the hell is so bad about being happy for a little time out? Is it okay to abuse a total stranger on some networking app like twitter for saying “Yay I have a day off” ….?
WTF?!?!?! Yea FUCK YOU too. How rude.
remittance girl
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 14:47:
So many asshats, so little time. Grrrr.
.-= remittance girl´s last blog ..Whaaaahoooo =-.
Dragon Mage
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 14:54:
I agree. There is nothing wrong with being happy over having some time away from our girls. We are just as happy to have time *with* them.
We are adults, and we are married and as such, we need time to ourselves – sometimes just to talk. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I looked at this particular twitter stream, and I don’t think you’re missing anything by blocking him. lol
I hope you enjoy yoru time to yourself. ^_^
.-= Dragon Mage´s last blog ..Microfantasy Monday =-.
Bucking Bill
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 14:57:
I am not a parent but I think it is okay I have parents and I know I don’t want to be around them 24/7 so I would think they would be the same way. Taking time off is always needed and it gives you more to talk about when you are together but that is just what I think. =)
.-= Bucking Bill´s last blog ..HNT: Pure =-.
thepinkpoppet
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 14:58:
I read it all as it happened honey…and he was and remains I assume a full blown asshat that has no clue as to your life or situation. You have every right to be pissed about it. He has the right to his opinion of course, but his opinion was generated without any knowledge of the facts. I stand with you and support you. WTG.He will not, repeat…NOT be missed.
Backseat Boohoo
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 15:04:
My father is proud to be a dad. Does that mean he can’t enjoy the solitude of an empty house, now that my brother and sister are finally leaving? Why shouldn’t he? He’s still an individual, and his life can’t revolve around me 24/7, but tbat doesn’t change the fact that he’s an amazing father with past times of his own.
.-= Backseat Boohoo´s last blog ..Liberator Lamb Corset =-.
Chloe
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 15:17:
I’m not a mommy. YET. (And dear God, I can’t wait.) I have spent my whole life basically practicing to be a mother, I swear. I started being a mother’s helper when I was 12, and I nannied for three families, two as a live-in, until I was 24.
The third family, and the last, was awful. I woke the kids up in the morning. I got them ready for school. I put them on buses, I cleaned their messes. I took them off the bus and I helped the older one with homework. I played with them, I bathed them, I read to them. I put them to bed. Mom and Dad? They worked and worked and worked. THEY were asshats, as far as I’m concerned. They were divorced, so they had the kids alternating weeks. And sometimes, on “their” weekend? Aka, they saw their kids for basically four days per month, because they each got two weekends? Well, on those days, since I was off-duty, the parent in question would ship them off to grandma’s for the weekend so they didn’t have to “deal” with them. (And, obviously, paid for a live-in nanny so they didn’t have to “deal” with them during the week, either.)
THAT sickened me. So in a sense, I understand the TYPE of outrage a person can feel toward someone they feel is being a bad, neglectful, or ungrateful mother. I’ve felt it.
I just happen to think my outrage was justified.
I mean, FFS, two weeks after I started working for these people, I said, “Olivia can’t hear me.” I was told Olivia was “ignoring” me, or “testing” me, or simply trying to annoy me. I repeated, on two occasions (until I felt I would be out of line doing it again) that I was SURE she wasn’t hearing well. I was ignored. They had been with this kid for SIX years. So, hey? Who was I to judge? I’d only been there two weeks! Well, a week into the school year, the school nurse called to inform the parents that Olivia had failed the hearing test. Twice.
Score one for Super-Nanny.
THOSE were crappy parents, and I get all huffy just thinking about them. But I spent a year living IN their house WITH their kids BEFORE I made that judgment.
So… The Twitter Asshat? I see no way for his remarks to be justified. For one, because he doesn’t know you. So even if all you did EVERY day, in EVERY tweet was complain about the kids? SO WHAT? Maybe that’s your venting place. It says not a GODDAMN thing about your parenting skills.
And from where I’m sitting, it’s pretty clear you DON’T do that anyway! And you ARE a wonderful mother.
And as someone who has seen plenty of wonderful mothers in action? (The second family I nannied for was the one I blogged about, with the father who passed away. THAT was a good mother. A very, very, very good mother.) Well, I don’t know a single GOOD mother who doesn’t recognize the importance of getting their kids off into the world, for the kids’ benefit AND for her own.
A good mother recharges her batteries. Kid-free time, Mom-only time? It’s good time. It rocks. It’s also entirely necessary in order to be the best mother you can. You can run on fumes for only so long.
Basically the only thing I do 24/7 is breathe. Everything else? I need breaks from in order to do it well or in a healthy way whenever it is I DO do it.
I hope that guy’s kid is happy, I really do. But I can’t say I wouldn’t be a TEENSY bit smug if he has some rebellious periods and told his dad he was a smothering, self-righteous douche. Yanno, ’cause it’s true.
~Chloe, who is probably (definitely) a self-righteous douchette herself.
(And, lolerskates, you just commented in my blog as I was about to hit publish here. Were your ears burning?)
.-= Chloe´s last blog ..Flowers =-.
vanimp
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 16:58:
@RG Oh hun I know you have had your fair share of late *hugs* x
@DM Isn’t it funny the first bloody words he says and I get that crap lol. I blocked his sorry ass, if he did that to my face he’d get the same “fuck off” too.
@BuckingBill That’s the thing, you don’t have to be a parent to know that downtime is healthy for people.
@Backseat Boohoo My parents are like that. It’s totally fine and half the fun is coming back and telling them all about the fun we had lol
@Chloe This is why I love your replies. You write it how you see it and you have your head on right. Thank you hunni you made me awww xxx
I was more pissed at the fact he deemed it a problem that I was happy about having time out. it wasn’t gloating at all. That behaviour was unnecessary.
moltenthought
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 17:17:
I remember as a kid realising my mum was losing it big tme cause she just didn’t have enough gas in her gas tank so to speak. It was the one thing I knew I needed to do better as a parent: give myself some time to feed myself. The carer can’t look after anyone without looking after themselves first. I was there watching it happen, seeing and hearing the outrage. There wasn’t a tinge of gloating. It was a relieved *whew* I get some time to myself type of thing. You love your son and my kids with everything you have got. It is fully appreciated!!
Enjoy your time hun. xx
vanimp
on Aug 1st, 2009
@ 19:29:
Thank you for enabling that time for me. Love you x
sxychikadee
on Aug 2nd, 2009
@ 02:19:
I hope you have/had a GREAT TIME WITHOUT YOUR KIDS! Mine are 2 & 4 and here, with me, ALONE, 80% of the time. Thank goodness their father lives only a couple of miles away and loves them, or else I’d just completely lose my mind.
This doesn’t diminishing my limitless love for my kids. It’s that I am a PERSON, not just at mom. All people need some time for themselves. Hell, I even miss the little buggers within hours of when they go to their father’s.
Screw you Asshat. Please delete me if you are one of my “friends.”
.-= sxychikadee´s last blog ..HNT – Games =-.
vanimp
on Aug 2nd, 2009
@ 02:29:
My bad pinkpoppet, (i missed it cause you haven’t got a linky and I’m blind as a bat) thank you for your support it was very much appreciated today *hugs* x
Hubman
on Aug 2nd, 2009
@ 04:28:
Veronica and I cherish the time we have without the kids (ages 8 and 3) around. It’s important for us to maintain the relationship between the two of us.
Damn right we look forward to those times!
Fucking asshats….
.-= Hubman´s last blog ..Self-Timer Test =-.
viemoira
on Aug 2nd, 2009
@ 06:06:
I do believe fucktard says it best. People like that probably only out 80% into parenting on a good day while we put in 100% as much as possible which is why a break here and there is due.
wifegonebad
on Aug 2nd, 2009
@ 08:44:
When I meet parents like Asshat they scare me – why don’t they want some alone/adult time? Jerk.
selkie
on Aug 2nd, 2009
@ 12:18:
I love my kids to bits. And would probably have torn them to bits if I didn’t get some down time which was short and far between. What an asshole. i MADE my kids have naps (evil mum) and even when they got older and didn’t want them , there was a 1.5 hour “quiet time” in the afternoon. If there hadn’t I would have gone stark raving mad.
I worked nights, lived on a few hours sleep and did what you do – chores, homework, nurturing, fun time, baking, crafts, excursions … and I was lucky to have D. who did all that when I was working and he was home (after working a full day).
You’re damn RIGHT we were DESPERATE for some “me” time, some “us” time…
and you know what, I STILL love my kids to bit and can’t wait until they’ve all moved out – I’m not throwing them out the door – but feel soon, I will have done my “job” and made healhty, adult wonderufl people who will get on with THEIR lives …
isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?
hugs – you’re doing a terrific job – don’t let sanctomoniuos assholes get you.