School holidays are over. Thank fuck.

Being away made me realise how much I missed Molten & Velvet. It also made me realise how different my life is to others and how I wouldn’t change it for a moment. All I wanted to do was come home and get my fix of hugs and kitties. We sat here and watched Bruno last night … fucking funny. I needed last night. I needed reconnection.

I went mad for a couple weeks there. Lost the plot and then my brain started going overtime and I went well … psycho. I withdrew, I got snarky, I closed down completely. It’s a horrible feeling losing control in that sense for me. And I’m not good at recognising it straight away, instead I end up a nervous blubbering wreck and I don’t let anyone get near me.

I caved and went and spoke to a naturopath about all the crap I was dealing with and she diagnosed it as a major bout of PMT. I am now on daily vitamins, magnesium for nervous tension and a double dose of magnesium and B6 for the “crazy” week. It was interesting actually apparently evening primrose is great but it takes at least 3 months to kick in so she said I can take those too if I want to but the magnesium and B6 will work straight away.

I’ve been taking the magnesium and I don’t have the urge to kill people so it must be working lol. I’m sleeping better and I feel better. Still a little way to go yet.

Oh and no coffee. I haz a sad. Decaf is just not cool.

But I’m being a good girl and sorting myself out because I need to. I’m not nice when I go crazy.

I’m just about finished this erotica book and fuck it is goooood. Am halfway through writing the review which I will plonk on here and a wee vlog as well. Apart from that I have a bit of work to try and sort as it’s been rather shit for the last couple of months and my wallet is crying.

Oh yeas and Rayne wrote a fecking awesome hawt wee piece for an erotica contest and you should go read it *nods*

I haven’t been commenting anywhere much of late but I went mad so thats why… school holidays and PMT combined make for a crazy impy heh.

I have been reading blogs though but in ninja stealth mode.

“Risk of dislocation is high but we can use suspension cuffs to lessen that one, they call this the teardrop position”, he put the book down, the look on his face serious as those deep brown eyes of his burrowed into yours. You squirmed a little and he watched intently in silence for a couple of minutes.

“Go and fetch the toys I have laid out on the bed little one.”

You nodded, arose from your kneeling position and walked towards the bedroom door. Your heartbeat seemed to match your quickened steps. This was the first time you both had tried this suspension position and you were a little concerned. Apparently it could be quite painful as the body would hang in the shape of a teardrop.

There on the bed, laid out neatly were the cuffs, rope, and a small package, neatly wrapped with a small card laid on top with the words “pet”. A little confused you gathered all of it up in your arms including the package and walked back to  Master’s chair. Kneeling you present it all to him, arms laid out infront of you.

Master leant forward and smiled and asked you to please strip and place the cuffs on and open the package you had brought out. Clothes are pulled off, you place the cuffs on ankles and wrists, and begin to open the package. Inside was a beautiful leather harness, adorned with small diamonds.

“Master, I, what …. how?”, you are stunned.

“That’s not the way to thank your Master is it now pet? The harness is a gift. As this won’t be the first and last time you will be my little teardrop. Next week you will be displayed at a special get together of close friends, you will wear it on the night.”

You lean forward and kiss him and thank him. Your eyes glistening as sit up again and look at it. He grabs you by the hair and pulls your head towards his crotch, you can smell him, his musky scent that always makes your cunt get instantly wet. He runs his hands all over you, inspecting every inch of flesh and pushing his fingers into your now sodden wanton hole.

“Look even the thought of Master doing things to you has turned you into a wanting little hussy now hasn’t it?”

You mewled, nose buried in his crotch still.

“ Now go and fetch the rigging gear and the chain pet, we’ll need those tonight as the squirming you are about to be doing is going to require some strong gear used for heavy lifting, I’m going to pierce your clit tonight, we don’t want you breaking anything while I am making my little toy pretty do we? And I am sure it’ll help distract you from the stretching of your abdomen now won’t it?”

Your eyes meet his and you know he is dead serious. Yes, you are going to be his teardrop. The tears were going to rain down.

God how you adore your sadist.

There is nothing like sleeping in my own bed. I spent two nights sleeping on a freekin couch and waking up at the crack of dawn to kids and blaring TV. Westieville is most definitely an experience. I don’t watch TV at all and adjusting to a TV that was 51 inches in size and constantly blaring was ick. I turned it off at every opportunity I got. I spent Saturday morning making a Thomas the Tank Engine cake … never done one before and after 4 hours of pissing about … I was chuffed.

It was great to have some time to spend catching up with my little brother and sister. I left home when I was 18 so both of them were still quite young, 11 and 7 if I remember rightly. I missed out on watching them grow up especially through their teens and they are quite close now. We had far too much alcohol on Saturday night and got giggling and comparing notes on “walking in on the parents when they are doing the deed” … or in simple laymans terms… fucking. Seriously my brother has now tainted mine, and my sisters mind with a horrible image, he opened the door and was greeted with Dad with his pants round his ankles and mum on her knees … I’ll let you fill in the rest ….

By that stage both her and I had well and truly left home. He’s now 24 and it’s the first time he had told anyone what he had seen and he felt pretty bummed after my sister and I just sat there howling with laughter. We both agreed he’d trumped ours and after he disclosed his poor mindfuck from his childhood we changed the topic. We were in hysterics and it was hard to look at Mum with a straight face the next day without telling her what the topic of conversation was the previous night.

Yano cause your parents should nevah have sex …

Isn’t it funny though, everyone brings up walking in on their parents and the image is always one they never wish they saw. Just the topic of your parents sexual lives brings lots of “shut up don’t go there, I don’t wanna talk about it … eeeewwww”. I’m open with mum, we talk about everything and anything including sex. It doesn’t squick me. Infact both Mum and I were having a giggle yesterday as my sister had just seen Bruno and had informed mother in a very serious tone that perhaps it wasn’t a suitable movie for her as it had alot of sex, gay sex and penises in it. Her words, “It might be too shocking mum, I don’t think you should watch it”.

I laughed and looked at my sister and simply said, “Exactly how do you think you were concieved? Or any of us for that matter?”

Seriously, is she that naive? Lol.

Mum does want to and will watch Bruno at some point.

I even offered to take her hehe.

Hanging out with family for the weekend, leaving in about three hours so HNT comments  and Flash Fiction Friday will have to wait till I get back. Off to Westieville x

Candlelight, erotica, bubbles … something’s missing …

(clicky)

“Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon”
(Simone de Beauvoir)

(clicky)

“The true man wants two things: danger and play.
For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.”
(Nietzsche ~  Desire for Women)