Impy has been busy over the last 48 hours or so, not even having energy nor time to get a post done which has been not good. I had the Dt’s .. well in between snoozing. Let’s see over the weekend I reformatted a laptop and gained a cask of red wine for doing so, caught up with my brother and sister in law who both looked how I felt. Conversation was jilted and crappy and boring but none of us had the energy to chit chat. Mum rang all of us on Thursday night and told us that our uncle (who none of us have seen since we were all little) has lukemia and at present has a white blood cell count 4/108 which is bad enough for the hospital to have rung and called him in at 11pm at night. Mum is upset and worried but the three of us are all like well that is horrible but we don’t even really know him at all. We’ll all be there for mum though.

I went out with a friend and entertained ourselves at a top restaurant up here and spent four hours on Saturday night eating an eight course meal and accompanied by a different wine for each course … I was rather light headed and tipsy by the end of it with a very sated tummy. Awesome experience although I must admit when I looked at the menu sorted for the night I squicked…

Duck liver, compressed apple with honeycomb & rice
~
Ostrich, beetroot, goats curd with salted raisins, coffee and sourdough
~
Quail with soya beans, swede, peanut, marshmallow & coconut
~
Market fish “sous vide” with chorizo, prawn, cauliflower, mandarin & seeds
~
Free range pork, carrot marmalade, black pudding & cinnamon
~
Beef fillet, potato & mushroom with watercress
~
Apricot & vanilla with saffron whip
~
Dark chocolate, white chocolate with pineapple & yoghurt

But, apart from refusing to eat the black pudding (ewwwww) I enjoyed every single bit of the meal and it was presented beatifully in all these little tantalising taste explosions in my mouth. Hugely expensive meal but I would happily go back again for a special occassion. We then went off to a local bar for more wine and I ended up sating my accent fetish by talking to a Canadian guy for a good hour asking all sorts of stupid questions just so I could get him to speak hehe.

I got a spa and cuddles with my two favourite peoples and I am always wanting more cuddles and time with them cause I am greedy yano. We watched “The Notorious Bettie Page”  and I fell asleep after not much of it (had feck all sleep on Sat night) and then molten and I watched “The Story of O” dvd last night. Verdict …. “the story of O was like watching something worse than bad porn” but we watched it right to the end. I am thinking if I had to watch it again it would be termed “torture”.

Right off to have a coffee … yes one coffee … I have gone a whole week without coffee and we are catching up with friends this morning and I am going to hover over that one coffee and drool and smell it and enjoy every drop (I’m allowed one, that’s it). I’m not a coffee addict noooo. Afterwards I shall probably obtain the dt’s and wish I had never had it but thats why I am a masochist. I enjoy doing cruel things to myself.

I am wary to write anything regarding poly relationships here. Reasons which are personal and guarded but sometimes it needs a little light shed from time to time. So many misconceptions just like with the whole BDSM thing.

There is no one way just like in kink, but being involved in poly relationships is not swinging, it’s not cheating. I hate those two assumptions with a vengance, they irk me considerably. There are real relationships there, they just happen to take on a different form than what most people are used to. I am wary in day to day life as to whom I share that information with not because I am ashamed or hiding my relationships but because of the frustration of tunnel visioned mindsets, the belief that what my life entails or the relationships I chose are somehow not real enough or “right” for others. It saddens me and most days I chose not to disclose my personal life for fear of ignorance and misconstrued assumptions which happen all too often. I hate being put in a position where I have to explain myself and my choices to love the way I want to.

People assume it means you want sex and lots of it from different people because you are some kind of sex freak or nympho.  Some assume it’s because you don’t or can’t commit easily. Some assume you are just “going through a phase” and eventually you’ll find your one and only true love and settle down and do the family thing and the white picket fence dream they hold so dearly.

I don’t have a white picket fence, infact we have a six foot green hedge. I have a family of more than the average nuclear family. I get more daily hugs than most would get in a week … fuck I love that. I have extra shoulders to cry on when I need one. I get to share the highs and lows with not one person but two.

I am polyamorous. It simply means that I value emotional & sexual relationships. I am happy to love more than one person at a time, honestly and ethically in my way. My commitments to the people I love are as real as anything else in my life. I learnt a long time ago to listen to my inner voice, to follow my heart and do the things that make me happy. I don’t take note of what others believe is the “perfect” way of being for me. I don’t believe in having secondary and primary relationships. Perhaps it’s just a label that feels comfortable for some and that’s okay. For me it’s simple, each relationship is it’s own path. It’s not mine. My relationships are separate things with every single person I choose to spend time with and each moment of that time is important, as important as the other person. I value people who know what they want and can be honest about it without hurting people in the process. Each relationship is what it is and it doesn’t need labels. I’m not perfect, no one is. We sometimes fumble about but with good communication and lotsa heart its something that fuels my soul. Being allowed to be me. The good, the bad and the ugly. And most importantly loving those in my life for what they bring to me too.

I have a wonderful wee family I cherish, love to bits. They make me smile and laugh, they warm my heart, they bring me what I need. They don’t judge me, they give me understanding and they accept me for who I am. Even my fucked up OCD quirks, hell they squee at them hehe. My friends … they are uber special. They don’t judge me either, they see how happy I am, they understand poly and if they don’t, they ask real questions. Those that do judge me for loving differently  .. so be it. I can’t change that but I can be open and loving and smile and remind them inside I am smiling and content. I am happy with my life choices … if they feel the need to judge my life .. what does that say about them?

Right now we are three. There are a lot of clichés about three. The triad is a spiritual number found in ancient mythology and most polytheistic religions – some of our modern monotheistic religions, too. There’s a reason for it. A table is more balanced with three legs rather than two. Rip one of those legs away and what happens? Even in a monogamous situtuation (which I have had a few) most people have an extra leg on the side emotionally, a person you trust and love to bits that you can talk to, get some emotional support and love from and hey some have sneaky on the side sex and yup that is referred to as cheating, in a poly situation ( a healthy one) you are honest and you don’t lie and hide things. And the same holds true for a relationship. Where one receives only part of his or her needs from one partner, he or she can find additional fulfillment in the other partner. Where one partner can’t provide something, or perhaps just “doesn’t get it,” the other partner might be able to provide what’s missing. And the triad balances itself out. I don’t now what tomorrow will bring, who knows maybe one day another will come along, I don’t know those answers and right now I don’t care. All that matters is nuturing the comittments we all have right now.

So what exactly is so bad about being poly? I don’t get it? I don’t understand why people judge and assume such bollocks so easily. if you start looking deeper there’s a whole lot of questions that are left unanswered.

Poly isn’t about rampant fucking it’s about loving.

Pretty simple really.

Judging something so free and beautiful as loving someone … I find that sad.

It’s all I have to bring to-day,
This, and my heart beside,
This, and my heart, and all the fields,
And all the meadows wide.
Be sure you count, should I forget, –
Someone the sum could tell, –
This, and my heart, and all the bees
Which in the clover dwell.
~Emily Dickinson~

Good erotica can make my cunt twitch and keep my eyes glued to the pages. If it’s really good my hand will  stray downwards, stroking with the rhythm of my thoughts.

I’ll get the metal box from the bottom of my closet, the one I keep locked up. I’ll find the key in my jewelery box and open it.
“Make it hurt”,  I’ll tell him.
Surviving Darwin ~ Alicia Gifford

Sometimes I resonate with a story and imagine myself as the character, sometimes a story is so bizarre it draws me in to the point my curiosity is piqued and I want to be that person in that situation.

I was a liar. I wanted to come, I wanted to scream. I wanted Mouth to plunge his hand deep into my cunt, and Karen to suck on my tortured tits. But I wanted to please her. The truth was, from the moment I’d sat down in that chair and put my hand in her hand, I was hers.
The Manicure~ Martha Garvey

Not all erotica books do that for me. Some are quite crappy. Some are so generic and Mills and Boon type shit I put the book down in pure disgust. I don’t want lah-dee-dah romantic twaddle I want debauched, edgy, mindfucking stories. I want the dirt,  the crazed filthy fucking.

As Susie Bright says, “to hell with the smarmy stereotypes”. I totally agree. Which is why when I began reading an erotica book for review for Eden Fantasys I knew that any book with this author/editor’s name on it was sure to be a good one and a book I would want to rave about. And I wasn’t wrong. Susie has not let her readers down with this amazing collection of erotica that is out of the box and fantastically good.

The 15th Anniversary Edition of The Best of the Best of American Erotica 2008 boasts a whole 23 stories from writers Susie has invited to contribute for her last year as editor for the series.  347 pages of erotica that will push boundaries, taboo’s, even the bizarre and macabre are present here and some of those stories will have you producing a laugh that will roll up from the depths of your stomach. The stories themselves are short but so well written they will draw you in immediately and each is so different from the other it makes for a refreshing yet addictive read. Not all of them will “get you off” but if you appreciate good erotica writing then it’s a book well worth owning a copy.

No doubt his penis now hangs between his legs swollen red, brusied and sore from pounding inside her tight and hungry hole. No doubt her vagina likewise feels ragged and sore from their debauch, its soft walls stretched and battered from the satanic thrashing action of the devil’s massive, oversize piston.
Horny ~ Greg Boyd

For me after reading each story I was intrigued to read each authors recollection of how they came to write their story, and an added bonus; a short blurb  on each writer at the back of the book. As a writer it was inspiring and it also bought home the notion that indeed the best stories are the ones that have an element of realness to them, where the writer pools from their own desires or experiences and even fantasy’s to create something that will draw the reader in and leave something etched in their minds and perhaps their crotch too. These stories are edgy, funny, passionate, dark, and sometimes obscure but every single writer that has offered something for your eyes and mind, has done so brilliantly.

Blue Light had me in a frenzied reading state, I just couldn’t get enough of it. It made Edgar Allan Poe look tame. A sexually charged supernatural thriller. This was my favourite story in the book, perhaps because it sated my dark mind. Fleshlight is an awesome piece written by an author who had to write a review on a Fleshlight toy and it had me roaring with laughter, resonating well with the whole review writing process.

The stories are not the standard out of the box erotica so many are used to reading, they delve into territory normally side stepped. There is a story for every different kind of fantasy buried amongst these pages … BDSM, lesbian erotica, politics & sex, group sex, religion, and much more. And the best thing is, it’s the type of book you do not have to read from start to finish.

As an added bonus to the end of the book Susie also includes her own contribution, “Story of O Birthday Party”, a story she had penned many years ago only to have it become a reality involving a recent personal recollection of a lover’s elaborate birthday gift. Which in my view was rather amazing an definitely an added bonus to end her stint as the editor for this series of erotica books!

And to top it off,  in the back section of the book, a list of every writer who has ever contributed to these books spanning 1993 – 2008, all 272 of them. Alongside this, you are given a comprehensive list of the most influential erotic editors, journals and websites over the 15 years Susie has been an editor of this series of erotica books.

This book is most definitely a welcome addition to my collection and I will be sharing this with others who appreciate brilliant writing. A thank you to Eden Fantasys for providing me with an amazing treasure of a book to keep. It is indeed the best of the best erotic literature I have had the pleasure of reading in a long time.

This wee crotch warming friend gets an Impy 5/5

$14.99The Best of Best American Erotica 2008 Book by Edited by Susie Bright Format: Paperback Publisher: Touchstone Buy from EdenFantasys

When something or someone touches your soul … embrace it, chase it

can’t stop, stop the hurting
can’t stop, stop the breathing
can’t stop, stop these tears for you my dear
don’t know why it’s so bad
this life’s been so bad
I’m glad I finally found you here
you’re the voice of a dream I had
you’re the voice and I’m so glad
you’re the weight of a dream of a life come true
there’s no denying
I sometimes run and chase the moon
I just can
I sometimes run and chase the views
and dream of you
my heart locked in absence
my heart locked and fearful
I see no-one can be here today
my thoughts locked in thinking
my thoughts not believing
I see no-one can be here with me
you’re the light of a dream I had
you’re the voice and I’m so glad
you’re the weight of a dream of a life come true
there’s no denying
I sometimes run and chase the moon
and think of you
I sometimes run and chase the views
and not of you
I sometimes run and chase the moon
but I’m just dreaming
I sometimes run and chase the views
but I’m still dreaming
dreaming
I’m dreaming
I’m dreaming of you, dear