Today’s post is bought to you by the letter F for fuckedupedness. Srsly.

I forget most of the time to actually check out what search terms bring people to my little lair on the interwebz. Stats whore, yes I am. I have spymeter installed so I can find referrals and yano, return the favour if I find things that interest me. So bored, insomniac and waffling on twitter I randomly thought hell I’ll go look at search terms on this thing and see what I find.

The orgasm meme … remember that? I am totally blaming subtle cause she said “wank” and I said ooorgaaaasm and well just cause I can *snikker*. Lo and behold I found freekin 14 search terms in relations to the word wank. Go figure. Some are just odd.

sore from wanking ~ must have been a good wank huh? sorry can’t help you with that one mate
wanking devices ~ shit umm hands, toys, other people, really the list is endless
a good wank ~ yup I haz those often
self wanking ~ ummm need a sex book I can recommend the Goddess Orgasm if you don’t know how  … *grins*
when is the best time to wank ~ when you are horny? doh!
aunt gave me my first wank ~ dude I do NOT want to know … rly? I think I want to throw up
women catching men wanking ~ just ask to watch instead
last time you had a wank ~ today lunchtime actually, feel better now you know?
wanking headaches ~ eh?
old couple wanking ~ sings *lalalalalalalalala* ewww
sunday afternoon wank ~ why Sunday?
wank stress relief ~ wanking always relieves stress
urge to wank ~ yup people do, it’s true
wanking gif ~ make your own ya theiving swine sheesh who died and made me your slave huh?
how to have a good wank ~ have you met Mista Hitachi? *grin*

You thought that was bad check these ones out...

selkie pussy ~ yes selkie it seems someone thinks for some insane reason your pussy is on my blog

be my human toilet ~ err fuck off
toilet slave search master ~ nope sorry wrong person click on the x in the top right hand corner of your browser

gorgeous butt cheeks spread ~ not here mate, I’m not really into sticking my bumhole on my blog sorry, I’m far too private

fuck kitchen stool ~ one I don’t have a kitchen stool, two I have perfectly good sex toys that are a hell of alot better than a kitchen stool, besides stools don’t vibrate

looking for master to train a slave ~ err you or me? I’m confuddled. I suppose if you really want I can cane your ass if you ask nicely

anti masturbation device ~ thats what we in the kink world call a chasity belt and no I don’t have one

And on that note, most of these make me laugh but this last one didn’t …

underage erotic fiction ~WTF?

one: I’m a parent so that really fucks me off

two: I’m a geek and I can track your IP *wink*

three: I will NEVER write that kind of shit so bugger offskies sicko

And on that note I am off to bed. Enjoy.