What have I learnt this week and coming into 2009? Let’s see.

Transparency, being able to communicate openly and honestly is so damn important. In a poly situtaion when there are various relationships that are all different I have come to realise that there is a need for those involved to be able to communicate on higher levels, to be able to expose oneself a little more than one would probably feel comfortable with, but by doing so it results in something far greater and something that nourishes those existing relationships. And those relationships within the family do not have to be on a sexual basis, some are not. You do however still need some form of common ground and the ability to be honest. Areas that are generally sheilded in a monogamous situation cannot be in a poly situation because there are others within who will call you up on things. It’s not a bad thing because it brings growth if done in a positive fashion.

Protecting one from others in the /family relationship serves no end. In a sense it can be extremely destructive. One thing I have learnt from life in general that any burden we choose to carry can be allieviated just by being open, sharing feelings and owning them as your own and not projecting them onto another to make one’s self feel better. Asking for help is okay, being open and exposing one’s difficulties so other’s can help in any way they can is a healthy choice. It’s not being weak at all, if anything it’s having strength and courage to go places in one’s psyche that normally we tend to try and close off. It’s okay.

It’s okay to have boundaries, we all have them. Sometimes it takes a little while to verbalise those boundaries and limits, it’s important that those channels are open to enable one to do so at their own pace and to feel comfortable expressing that. Issues that arise need to be met head on and dealt with, the old saying and something that came up in conversation with Molten reminded me of something I have always tried to stick to. Never go to bed angry, upset or with something on your mind that festers. Sort it.

Compersion is great. I have been a little amused as to why I haven’t dealt with jealousy issues, Velvet suggested maybe it might be a sense of envy if anything but honestly, none of that either. I am just going to enjoy the fact I am in a good space right now and hell if those issues aren’t arising I shouldn’t be complaining or wondering why not, the whole “live in the moment” is a good thing to try living by. For me it works because I shut my overactive mind off to silly things as much as possible. They have scened a little around me in the past week and I am finding I just may have a bit of a switchy side, I’m also not entirely sure if it’s something I need or want to be around, too soon to tell, my curiosity is feeding that area at the moment, maybe the voyer? Poor Molten gets my evil streak rising and my brat side lol but it’s been absolute fun and I am starting to see there may be scope for a switch aspect in myself but in saying that we discussed a little today how I fear that repressed anger regarding childhood issues not channeled properly could actually put me in a place I don’t want to be. I have dominant aspects in other areas of my life and find them extremely draining most of the time am not sure if I really want that part of myself to drift into a relationship with anyone as it’s never done me any good before.

The best thing I have learnt this week is I have the most wonderful, loving wee family around me right now and by gawd I will miss them when I head down home for the next month. I think I’ll begin counting sleeps hehe. Anyways can’t spend too much time writing I have work to get finished (yes working over the holidays) and just had two jobs come in wanting quotes, one’s a definate and he has a deadline aaakk 0_O … sometimes I wonder why these people aren’t trying to enjoy their holidays like I am lol.