Todays post children is about safety … lol yea I know sarcastic and totally something that should be common sense but…. alot don’t realise how fecking unsafe some people can act. Last night I signed onto my IM. I am usually set on away because I am either working or catching up on things which I was last night, however I have work contacts on there as well as good friends who know they can annoy me even if I am on away or hiding offline, if I am there and can chat I will. Sometimes I’ll add someone I have been chatting with intermittently on an online community site because it’s easier than having emails and fecking sites open.

I had a guy I had been chatting to as nothing more than someone I conversed with online. That’s it. I had made it clear enough that I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship of any sorts with him. Not my type and there’s something about him that gives me the creeps, uneasy call it what you want. I trust my instincts.

Last night I got a hello. Cool I think haven’t spoken to him for a good couple months. Within five minutes of a bloody conversation of general how ya doing, how’s life yada, yada. I get this …. “so, when am I going to get my hands on you?” …

Errrr … wasn’t quite sure how to take that … so I replied that I had been rather busy and not really needing nor wanting to meet with new people at this point and in the throes of getting organised to move after the new year. He then asks if I want to meet up!!!!

Now I know nothing about this guy, he’s not been forthcoming with anything about himself except he likes kink and wants to “Master” someone. He’s not interested in socially meeting people involved in the kink world which is fine but I have stipulated many times that it is important for me to have a social network in place. I also sent him details of the munch that was held a couple months back in our town so if he was interested in meeting me he could do it in a social situation where I was around people I trust and know. I am not about to fucking go meet a random stranger who I know nothing about.

After I explained I wasn’t really seeing the point of meeting him and that I was spending xmas with a poly family, and moving up North early next year he signed off. Made me laugh. How fucking transparent. He’s notinterested in getting to know me at all. He gives me the impression he would like a fling. I’m poly, I’m not into “flings”. I want relationships that have an emotional need fulfilled with someone I care about not someone who’s only interested in having a kinky meet up and see ya later. Go to a whorehouse and pay for it.

Thing is I don’t trust the guy. He’s not told me anything about himself. He messages me after no contact for months (back when I did chat it would have been a total of maybe a weeks worth of intermittent chatting about utter random bollocks) and expects me to go meet him on my own. I’d actually deleted him ages ago but forgot to block him lol. So now he’s blocked and deleted from all places. I did speak to a Domme friend and asked her what she thought (I even pasted her the whole conversation that took place) and she had exactly the same vibes as me… there’s something about the guy that doesn’t sit right. I like her, she’s down to earth and a fun person to chat to and I’ve met her in person. She’s someone I trust and a fluffy has met her too and thinks she’s awesome.

See this is the reason why I socialise with kink friends. Some have a massive amount of experience and they are people I look up to for guidance as well as friendship and advice. I still make my own decisions but their input can be invaluable at times and alot of the time they confirm what I am already thinking. I use safe calls, I try stick to a certain few rules of my own when it comes to deciding whether or not I want to meet someone. If someone isn’t interested in the nilla side of me then I am not interested in pursuing a friendship of any sorts. It says alot in itself.

TRUST YOUR INTUITION
If you have a bad feeling about meeting someone,playing with someone, engaging in a particular activity, or anything else, follow that gut feeling and do not do it. Often times our subconscious picks up on clues that get translated into that gut feeling. Again, it is far better to do too little, or nothing at all, and have a yearning for it than putting yourself into a potentially regrettable situation.
ASK FOR REFERENCES/SPEAK TO OTHERS WHO HAVE PLAYED WITH THEM OR KNOW THEM
Seriously. Tell your prospect you want names and phone numbers of people whom you can call to verify his or her play-worthiness. If a stranger has no references, he’s too strange to play with.

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW SOME THINGS
You’re going to be spending time with this person and, if things work out, entering into a long term relationship, even if it is only as friends. The amount of information allowed is based on the level of negotiations. Early on, you need less information. Later, as you come closer to meeting, more is appropriate.