This past week has been fantastic, so fantastic trying to put it into words is difficult, I’m not in my normal environment so getting into writing mode has been a little of a learning curve to adjust to different nuances, I am a stickler for routines at the best of times. I haven’t been sleeping that well but different sleeping space and being on holiday I expected that but it does leave me a little drained. I cope and I bounce and the energy coming from this wee dynamic developing between Molten and Velvet and I is fuelling my soul literally.

For years I put myself in positions of people pleasing, almost chameleon like, trying to be for others what they needed rather than nurturing my nature and self. This dynamic that is emerging is nothing like that, I can be comfortable in my own skin, I don’t feel the need to hide any part of myself, that self-preservation mode that tends to kick in to protect myself, is just non existent. I love the way our minds are interacting on a higher level, much higher than I am generally used to as far as interacting with people in general. It’s inspiring and bringing me to a place of feeling content, knowing that I am in the right place and following a path I have been wanting for a long time. It’s almost as if this past year of trials and hardship has finally bought me to a point where it’s now my time to be happy again.

The whole poly thing is new territory for me but at the same time it feels normal. Does that make sense? I am exploring my own boundaries and limits and slowly internalizing thoughts. I have had a deeper insight to the relationships already exisiting, some areas are tentative as far as being solid but with all things I remind myself everything is fluid, change is imminent in some aspects and as long as it is healthy change with positive intent, things will work well. On a communicative level Molten and Velvet are everything I love, it’s really refreshing to be able to be open and honest and be myself without this silly fear I tend to carry of closing myself off. I have always found it difficult to be completely intimate with someone, always a part of me that remains hidden, my shadow self or the wolf. This sense of family, a family I have chosen, not one I am forced to have to contend with makes all the difference, and this time I am wanting to give back.

I have been a little self disciplined as far as letting walls completely down and pushing things further at this point as I have to go home again and focus on other things and to prepare for moving up North. It’s not easy, one side of me wants more, the practical side is telling me to wait. The image of two little people on my shoulders, one telling me to throw caution to the wind and do what I want, the other telling me to be patient and wait.

Tonight I get to spend the New Year’s Eve with two very special people and I can’t think of a better way to see the New Year in, I have a feeling this year is going to be alot better than this one been and I am smiling inside. I am wandering into new territory, the little cub starts school, my time will change, I will have alot more time for me again and it’s exciting. I even mentioned to Molten the other night that I would like to do some form of study again, the last two times I tried they were both interrupted by circumstances, maybe I’ll pick up on the natural healing again, there are pagan aspects I want to nourish too, and my curiosity for knowledge is always present and never sated for long. Everything is slowly forming a very solid foundation with alot of promise. My heart is warm again and finally allowing a little light back into my life.

Oh and Mister Velvet .. I had one this morning hehe … and I’ll prolly have another later … ciggie that is … *grins*

run with me
search the land
run with me
comb the forests
run with me
live the earth
run with me
test the heart
run with me
chase the moon
run with me
sniff the shadows
run with me
lose the life
run with me
be free

His arms restrained, legs cuffed and chained securely, limiting his movement, ass up in the air. Just the way she liked him, helpless and right at the edge. She had teased and coaxed him mercilessly until he could take no more, begging for release. She could see the small transluscent beads of sweat snaking down his brow. His muscles taut, a ripple of muscle as his body is racked with a shudder. She stood there infront of him smiling. He, admiring the delicate collarbone covered in lazy strands of sleek hair, the fullness of her exposed breasts, the fine curves meeting a firmly placed set of hands resting on her small hips, his desire evident. Right at eye level a phallic intrusion resting on her pubic bone, a thick, solid hard, dildo, one end already inside her waiting. Tonight she was going to rape his own ass and give him a taste of his own medicine, he had mentioned he was curious to try it a while back. Tonight she was the dominant, and tonight she was going to introduce him to the pleasures of the strap-on. She sauntered around to stand behind him, her warm hands slid down the curves of his buttocks, digging her nails in she moved forward…

Well I suppose it’s time to bring the Fluffy Family into the blog a little more, I said I would, I just wasn’t sure how to go about it as well. I have avoided it simply because parts of me are private, some extremely so and exploring the whole poly aspect is something I wanted to do away from the blog for a little while, to get myself grounded and in the right headspace to be able to verbalise it a little better and I am still finding my feet. Now I am at a point where I can see so much potential with the fluffies and letting things evolve naturally has given me a comfortable space to be able to write about it.

Why the “Fluffy” family … they are all kitties, hooman kitties … hehe who says dogs and cats don’t get along eh?

Molten (subbie) is married to Kiwig. She also has a relationship with a dominant, Velvet. Kiwig is a switch and has a girlfriend, Monkey who’s a switch. Confused yet?

I’m keeping this to fluid partners only, there are others who are associated with the fluffies as well but it gets complicated when I start adding all the various other non sexual relationships into the fold and the immediate fluffies are the ones which will be mentioned here mostly so I’ll keep it simple. Me, well I’m just a wolf in fluffy clothing aka wolfie wroof. I’ll be moving up here in roughly a month’s time into the house with Molten and Kiwig and then we’ll go house hunting to find a home more suitable to accomodate the clan. We haz mini fluffies to accomodate too, all four of them.

I met one Fluffy online via a message one night a few months back, Molten was looking for subbie friends and I happily replied to her message which sent us on a journey of sharing thoughts, which lead to IM’s and phone chats and eventually meeting the kitties. We clicked really well and I have this amazingly close relationship developing with Molten and it’s wonderful, she grounds me in a lot of ways and enables me to feel comfortable enough to open up on levels I wouldn’t normally go with most people.

It’s funny many assume that a relationship has to involve sex, neither of us are bisexual but there is a dynamic within a D/s context where we seem to bounce off each other in a very energetic mind level, hehe we also bring out the brat in each other. Velvet and I have chatted on and off online for a little while as well, teh beeg kitty or the panther. The best thing is we are all geeks hehe, we all love books and all comp addicts in some form or another, we all fit well. Molten and I have a very special relationship building, not sexual but we have had discussions about the possibility down the track that we may be comfortable enough to be in scene’s together, time will tell lol. Velvet makes me curious hehe, he makes it very easy for me to trust him, whether he knows it or not, that itself is a very big thing for me. Kiwig and I are building an awesome friendship but no attraction there and we all see how this whole dynamic is bringing healthy aspects into relationships for us all. It works. So there are things to explore and either way I have this wonderful wee family of people in my life who are very dear to me.

I then travelled up after a couple months of chatting and met the wee family and was so chuffed that I had found this amazing little dynamic. I remember the first night well, I felt totally at ease and one of the first things Velvet asked was “So are you poly?” … hehe at the time I was exploring myself and I wasn’t too sure back then. I have only met Monkey once as I have only been travelling up on and off over the past few months and her relationship with Kiwig is relatively new so it will be cool to be able to get to know her a little better.

Now I have had the time to look at things from a different perspective and past relationships and the choices I had made personally as far as relationships went and it was obvious I had leanings towards poly, just back then I didn’t give myself a label for the way I chose to connect with people. I tried the monogamous route seriously a couple of times and both failed because we just couldn’t be everything for each other. And their insecurity with my close relationships I had with other males was always a factor that seemed to arise.

I am now at a point where I can see so much potential, alot of groundwork and talking is taking place and will continue when I move up but I feel secure enough to be able to begin writing a little more about this wonderful journey and sharing it here. I’m hanging out here for a couple weeks and then back home to begin packing and ending my lease on the house I have down home. I’m excited and impatient for changes to begin but I am happy that this time I am taking my time and letting things evolve naturally, no expectations, just trying to be in the moment as much as possible. And most importantly enjoying the love coming into my life and being able to give that back too.

So there you go, meet the fluffies aka the bunch of deviant minded cats and one little black wolf

Update: … the fluffy cast is now on the Who’s Who page for easy reference lol x