A tiny bead of sweat forms and meanders down her cheek till it forms a perfect droplet on the end of her chin. Mingled with the tears and the snot covering her pained face. One word forms and comes flying out in what one can only describe as fire. “Fucker!” He muses and with a sly grin brings the cane down hard again on her reddened ass. A gasp escapes from her lips and a gutteral moan. Fifty strokes. Fifty bastard strokes she had accumulated. She really shouldn’t take on his challenges, she muses.

“What was that my dear?” his voice stern, eyes stern glaring straight into hers, his face only a fraction away from hers. His hand reaching for the clover clamps fastened tightly on her now purple tipped nipples. A quick tug and he watches as her eyes glaze over and she struggles to contain herself. “Anymore potty mouth remarks from you young lady are going to result in more strokes of this cane on your ass”. The cane being dragged across her raw skin. She struggles against the restraints holding her securely against the wooden frame.

Her mind racing frantically, how many had he given her? Almost lost in thoughts she is yanked back to reality from yet another sharp sting of the cane. This time right between her legs. Body betraying her, legs slam shut, knees together she writhes against the fresh onslaught of pain, groaning. Anger wellling. “What the fuck?! Owww that fucking hurt you bastard!”

He chuckles. He loves it when she gets all riled up. The spit flys, the whites in her eyes, the flared nostrils. If he untied her at this very moment he would be in mortal danger from her wrath. Restraints were always a given with this feisty minx. He slides his hand between her legs only to discover that his loving strokes and welts have created nothing but a wanton hussy, dripping, responsive to his touch. A pride swells. His little fucktoy. His whore. His girl. His cock is impatient, it needs sating. 15 more strokes to go. He cocks his head to the side and watches her. Panting and breathing hard, her hips move to meet his hand. He slaps her reddened cheeks with the other hand and watches her ass rise. She’s ready, anymore ready and he thinks she’ll try impaling herself on his cock with none of his guidance.

“Is my pretty whore hungry for me hmmm?”

“fuck me … please…please” her breathing is laboured. The movement from his fingers, poking, pinching, rubbing her into a frenzy. Her hips now frantically rocking back to find some relief. She feels empty, she needs him.

“Please what girl?”

“Please fuck me Sir”

He smiles. He knows how difficult it is for her to beg, to use her manners and to ask for what she wants. But he isn’t going to make it easy for her. He wants her to beg like she means it and not say it just because she knows she’ll get what she wants. So instead he leans over and grabs the two things he’s decided to drive her to the brink with. She’s so distracted she doesn’t notice. A yelp flys from her mouth as a cold steel butt plug glides into her ass and a vibrating dildo is subsequently pushed in her other hole. A ball gag is roughly pushed into her mouth and a blindfold wrapped around her head. He checks everything and gives the chain from the clamps a few random tugs. He rubs her clit hard until her groans tell him shes close. And then he stops.

“Nope I think I’ll watch you come all over this dildo, but first things first. Let’s finish this caning shall we… oh and no coming till I tell you … there’s an extra 5 strokes per orgasm you have without permission.”

Her eyes widen. He can hear the protests from behind the gag. The cane lands hard joining the patterned stripes that make her white ass welt so beautifully. Then watches her eyes glaze over as she succumbs to her fate…

It’s not literal, it’s not literal about the drug for me, I’ve never taken lithium before. It’s sort of a metaphor about numbness and happiness and sort of like, it’s me looking at happiness in a negative way because I’ve always been, you know, kind of afraid to be happy.

Like with the band and the art and everything else, it’s always like I’m never letting myself break through into the happiness it seems like, because it’s not cool or something. And describing happiness is lithium, it’s like saying ‘that’s numbness, I won’t be able to be an artist anymore if I’m happy’, which is hilarious because that’s just not true, I’m happy.

So it’s like this fight within the song of like ‘do I do this and get out of here and get happy or do I wallow in it like I always do?’ …and it’s cool because at the end of the song I say ‘I’m going to let it go’, like I am going to be happy.

~ Amy Lee

I iz hiding out at home today.

I am going to sit down and sort google calender for myself, or try to and carry on doing a few geeky comp things to set up my system better for work purposes. Alot of what I do is time consuming, apart from design work, there’s the added need to continually learn and upskill new techniques, discover new aspects of the programs I am using and stay up to date with the latest design trends. I spent the other night chatting with a friend who was very intrigued as to how I did things and I explained that the majority of my spare cash I earn from my design work goes back into it. I can spend hours pissing about with tutorials, learning new stuff. Alot of it is downtime as I call it where I am not physically earning cash, more building up my skills so it leaves things open to be able to take on more specialised work.

She was a little confused, staring at the computer screen, then me. I showed her the pile of pricy art books, the pile of web design magazines, the scrapbooks and folders full of inspiration I have collected, the discs that fill up a container. My graphic gear, the different kinds of paper and art supplies I own. I showed her the folders hidden in my comp with thousands of resources, my art morgue as I call it hehe. She freaked out when I told her it’s only been accumlulated in the last few months. I have a healthy little collection hehe. I had a huge resource collection before I went to aussie, sadly alot of that is irreplacable and I bloody shouldn’t have sold it all. But it’s growing again and proving invaluable.

The computer is full of things like icons, template designs, logo designs, mascots, all the things that can spark a wee flicker of creativity. Thing is I am building this wee repotoire of mine so damn fast it’s a shitmess in the background and it needs to be organised alot better than it is. It’s taking too much time hunting through things to access a simple icon or whatever. I have hundreds of useful sites bookmarked and not enough time to go through them all.

Funny thing is I’ve realised she’s come away alot more enlightened and more understanding of what I do. And now she’s running about telling everyone if you want a successful business you have to put money and time back into it … clever puppy hehe. So yea today is “sort my shit” day. Let’s see how anal I can get with organising hehe.

Am gonna go suss this little doozy out too “Remember The Milk” …

Clickty

I have been a good lil imp in the last couple days, getting enough sleep and actually eating some decent food. And I’m feeling better for it. My emotions can side track me very easily and I’ve had an amazing boost and a reminder that there are people there for me when I need them. Sometimes I just don’t know how to ask for help. Alot of what I have been dealing with of late is rather self inflicted. A bad pattern of over thinking which tends to spiral downwards at a rapid pace. My heart has been pulled ever which way over the last year and it’s left me a little susceptible to being overly sensitive at times. But I bounce, and bouncing I am. Slowly getting back on track and just doing the one day at a time thing again.

I went birthday shopping for the little one this morning after having yesterday declared as a no people day. The little one stayed home as he had a wee bit of a horrid cough and it was shitty drizzly weather outside so we stayed indoors for the day and just relaxed. Hehe I think I wandered round the house in boyshorts for half the day then decided I’d better go put some jeans on incase someone wandered in…which is quite normal (I give friends shit about knocking).

My little one is having a joint pre birthday party with his best friend at kindergarten this weekend coming. It’s been great having another mum helping with costs & time and it’s saved us both money and sanity. She’s very laxed back like me when it comes to this kind of thing so we have bought water balloons, 200 of them, and water pistols for the kids to have some fun on the afternoon of the party. It’s starting to heat up quite nicely here with summer approaching. A wee note was sent out with all invites requesting parents send them in casual clothes with a dry set for after. A couple of games have been lined up, party bags for the kids and a dvd on the day for after the water fight and nom nom snacks! The party is three hours and between the two of us and a couple other parents coming it should be a blast. All up 9 children are coming. I bought the little one a Ben 10 watch. Apparently it’s the latest bloody craze with this lot and he’s been nagging me and pointing to every advertisement with it. I am going to give it to him as a surprise on the day. His birthday isn’t till the 27th December but I try and do something during the year so he doesn’t miss out on a decent party with friends and I have planned to take him to the Zoo on his birthday. A special trip and one I love doing. A relaxed cruisy day watching the animals.

Once that’s all over then it’s just the burial stuff which I am still trying to find out about. Useless bunch that lot and his ex has made it rather difficult for alot of us to get any information. Then no more majors, I look forward to being able to focus on new things and no more being pulled twenty different directions.

Family dramas have begun with my brother’s upcoming wedding. They are a very young couple and have been saving and working hard for their wedding in March. Some family members are all starting to squabble over wedding invitations and who’s not been invited. I laughed when I spoke to mum last night and simply said

… “the one’s who are actually pissed about who’s not invited … you have to ask why … some of the people not invited have not had nor provoked any form of contact in years … nor probably would … just because you are tied in blood .. does it give you the right to step in and start dictating how a certain family member’s wedding day should be and you have a right to be there? …. no”

…. some of my family need to pull their head out of their arse’s and wake up. Hence I have learnt to keep my mouth shut in most family gatherings. We are all very outspoken and tend to have some bloody hillarious results with foot in mouth incidents. This wedding is going to be quite amusing. Meanwhile my darling lil brother is getting married. I can’t help but go awwww.

Anyways I haven’t been in much of a major writing mood. So this is it for today unless the mood strikes me later tonight. It’s muggy hot and my brain is asleep. I think I actually prefer Winter.