See the person first - they are not their kink, their kink is of who they are and how they express themselves. It is the absolute sum total of the person. Their role does not make them a good or bad, better or worse person – they do. Real life counts. Family counts. Friends count. Finances count. Work counts. Health counts. You may make a decision somewhere down the track to put those things in a different order, but they will all have an impact on you and your relationship/s.

With that in mind and damn good advice that’s how I approach people. I don’t want to just know about their kinks, usually that is the last thing that draws my curiosity out when I want to get to know someone on a more personal level. I am attracted to those who actually have some form of nilla interests that are compatible with mine and mebe kink too but it’s not imperative.

Fetlife always seems to make for good posts and this one is no exception. I haven’t really read much of the discussion threads lately because nine times outta ten I get pissed off let alone post cause I tend to begin ranting. Especially when people start spouting off “rules” … whose rules exactly I dunno, you’d prolly have to ask permission to enquire let alone find out that the so called “rules” are actually from their own little fantasy worlds because they have spent far too much time playing in cyber land online.

I can speak from both sides of the fence. I had an online relationship and in some ways it did things for me in mind I am grateful for. It also showed me how submissive I could get with the “right” person. But then I made a conscious decision to get out and actually meet people which I have done so and I have absolutely no regrets. The online world is full of some very fantastical insane people.

The only rules I abide by are my own and the person’s I am involved with. I don’t give two cahoots what so and so says I should do. And of late I am sick and tired of being told by others what to damn well do or assumptions being made when they don’t really know me at all. I love the kink thing, I love being around people who love the kink thing and accept people for individuals with their own paths, but most of all I love the people who know me well enough to know that I am a capable adult who can make her own choices. I really cannot stand the ones who try and squeeze people into damn boxes they just don’t fit into, nor want to.

It’s funny after spending online time talking to different people you get to start seeing through the bullshit and seeing who are genuine people with no hidden agenda’s. I like spending time sharing thoughts, discussing things and having conversations that are not one sided. What I don’t like doing is trying to have an intelligent conversation with people who are there to try and fiddle with my head and gleam things outta me I am not willing to divulge, and their intentions are quite fucking obvious as to what they want. Some kinky play, no strings attached … sorry look elsewhere.

If I make a friendship I do it because I genuinely think there is something to be explored in whatever path it takes. No expectations but I expect a committment of some form. That word itself scares people away hehe and I don’t mind. I am not about shallowness or using someone. I want depth and intimacy and most importantly love.

I have no idea what the point of this post is just a few things that have been rambling about my head this morning … I am off to have a nap and try get rid of this damn flu that’s trying to take over my body. I cannot get sick I haz a holiday up North with the fluffies starting tomorrow and I needs to be well.