This morning went like this…

Ex: Hello

Me: Hiya (proceeds to call the little one to the phone, same old scenario … doesn’t want to talk and buggers off back to play with his cars)

Ex: Where have you been?

Me: Errr away up in Auckland why?

Ex: I was worried, you should have told me where you were going (in a stern tone)

Me: Okay let’s stop right there. ( I slowly and calmly speak) I have a life, MY life now. I do not have to tell you where I am, what I am doing or who I chose to spend time with, it’s actually none of your business. You are in another god damn country, I am bringing up our son on my own so DO NOT think you have any rights as to trying to have some form of control over me. ***** was fine and he was with me. If you feel like you need to be more involved then come home and be a father.

Ex: (silence, then mumbling …) I tried ringing but your phone was switched off.

Me: No it wasn’t it was on all weekend, I should know I was using it to text ****

Ex: Well it said it was switched off

Me: As I said it hasn’t been off for the last two weeks. Why didn’t you send a text message if you were so worried then?

The ex then proceeds to change the subject so I cut the call short. Am not in the mood for mind games, something which he has always enjoyed, except I don’t rise to his crap anymore.

Please tell me I am going mad?

He seems to think that he has a right to know where I am and what I am doing even though we are living in different countries and he has no parenting role in his son’s life, he hasn’t for over a year now. He doesn’t want to come home and be a father. So what the fuck makes him think he can order me to tell him every detail of my life, the one where I have picked up all the pieces, play counsellor, mother and provider to our son with no help from him?

This isn’t the first time he’s pulled this stunt, I know he wanted to know “who” I was with and “where” …. errr , I don’t ask him about his personal shit, his relationships or friends, hell I have no clue and no wish to know. I do however know that his demeanour has changed in the last two or three months. He’s not the brightest cookie out, and I know him extremely well, so I know when certain things come out of his mouth, they are not his, they are someone’s that have been put there.  His new partner that played “mummy” on the recent holiday has been stirring a little of late and I have noticed. And it’s pissing me off.

What I am frustrated with is his lack of compassion, his lack of understanding and his unwillingness to put the past behind us and all the bullshit that went with it and concentrate on simply being a parent.

He still doesn’t get I am over him, I am over the lot, I have moved on and I am sick and tired of him trying to pull the same old idiot games. One day maybe he’ll see it’s not all about him, it’s about a little boy that needs his dad in his life and who is missing him terribly. I am at the point where I don’t know what to say to him anymore, can he not see what’s right infront of him? One day, might be too late.

Ugh.

Note to Self: I should reeeally not read Erotic stories before I want to go sleep (unless purposefully planning on doing something afterwards or during hehe) …. am fucking horny again now grrrrr and uber sleepy

Oh and five more sleeps till me birthday woop I’ll be 21 again this year I think hehe