Herne decided I was allowed to post this in the blog so here is the task I was given last week, I jumped into the task head first thinking yea sure this will be easy but when I actually sat down and started to write I did find it difficult. For one I approached it with a “submissive” attitude but then soon realised it went deeper for a slave in many respects. What it comes down to though is the fact that the crux of the matter doesn’t distinguish between the labels and the root problem of topping from the bottom is in fact, a lack of communication and trust … funny that. I could add a hell of alot more to this and tweak it but I am pushed for time over this week so I will leave it as it is, as Herne read it. Enjoy …
Proactive Responsible Slavery v’s Topping From the Bottom…
A slave doesn’t have the luxury of saying no to her Master. She strives for obedience. In essence when she tops from the bottom she is attempting to take control. To me this is because there are unbased fears, secrets, a lack of transparency, and a lack of communication. Topping from the bottom is essentially trying to impede her own limits upon her Master, it is human nature to push boundaries, is she seeking to make her own limits or is it something more … an unconscious need to be bought back to her place? Normally so.
It is not about the slave it is about the Master. She is not “competing” with him. A willingness to be obedient, to place trust in him. Learning to relinquish “her” way for his way and in return finding a freedom never even fathomed.
Communication is imperative, complete transparency. A submissive chooses to give her submission with negotiation each and every time, a slave chooses that choice once.
By anticipating what her Master requires and being willing to please him and striving to be obedient is key. To obey. A commitment to be obedient. A submissive has the option to say no, a slave does not. Anticipating what he desires, acknowledging his needs. Being proactive means communicating concerns, issues, worries in a positive fashion rather than trying to manipulate a situation for her own needs. It’s not always easy, being aware of those processes, learning to be open and in some instances, vunerable and trusting that her Master has her best interests at heart and relinquishing that control to him.
Topping from the bottom can only have a negative effect, creating fear or manifested by unbased fears not communicated. This compounds, she feels guilty when essentially what she is needing is to be bought back to her place. There will be times where it is difficult to do so, but approaching those difficulties in a positive matter and discussing those problems until they are worked though, it is essentially his right to exert his decision and it is her place to obey. Taking responsibility and being open about her fears, her needs, her desires, fighting her self pride are all valuable lessons in slavery.
Acceptance that she is slave, he is Master.
Yielding and finding freedom in doing so rather than fighting him via trying to control situations via manipulation. It’s unhealthy and does the dynamic no good whatsoever. Understanding that she is his property to do so as he wishes. It doesn’t mean she cannot voice her opinion, her concerns but moreso in a healthy way rather than trying to bend a situation to her wants instead of being honest and working through issues.
xx
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