These three things are always topics of great interest, and as always there are so many varied opinions. What it comes down to is simply what it means for you personally. Herne and I spent a number of hours discussing various aspects, what we both wanted, for both of us the groundwork was essential. We also discussed the fact for this to work for both of us we had to start this as Master and slave. I have a long way to go yet but I know what I want and he sees in me aspects I am not even fully aware of, but I know they are there and he makes me comfortable that its okay for these aspects to come out of hiding. It’s almost a relief that finally I can explore these areas with someone I trust.

We have begun this journey as Owner and pet as I had told Herne I didn’t want to start off as a relationship without that dynamic, I knew I would find it too difficult to just have a nilla relationship and then build a D/s relationship on top of it. It is a part of him as much as it is a part of me. I wanted someone who had the experience and the skills and he has them. He loves the fact I am a blank canvas and that I have a good understanding of the mind aspects.

I came into this with limits, some stronger than others but I explained that many were what I refer to as soft limits. I know that as time passes some of these limits will not exist anymore when the trust levels become deeper and more established. And we talk, talk, talk. He’s told me that at some point my amount of control will not exist and the word “no” will not be a part of my vocabulary, and I smile because I know it will happen.

Herne does not like safewords and he has explained his reasoning why and I fully understand and accept this, I told him my feelings towards it because I know there are triggers there from past issues that may push me to using one so we have agreed that I do have one and can use it. That is what communication is all about. It’s also about knowing yourself and accepting each others limits, he has limits too. I think sometimes people forget their Masters are humans too lol. Limit is sometimes the wrong word for some things and I found out this week that I am more than eager to push some of them and one doesn’t exist anymore. It had me pleasantly surprised and a bit taken aback at how easy it was to face this one head on.

I wasn’t interested in anal sex mainly because I have haemorrhoids that tend to flare up on occassion, they developed after a difficult birth with my son and can be extremely fucking painful so anal for me was a limit based on fear of pain. What I didn’t realise was how much I like it hehe. So yep, one limit gone, they still are an issue but we are researching ways to deal with the health issue head on and it’s been great to have the support from Herne. The Daddy in him is an aspect I need and he does it well. He looks after me, he doesn’t want to break his pet, and we both want to enjoy things.

We have explored and touched lightly on a few things over the past couple of weeks and we have found out with a little hair pulling and a good chomp or three on the neck I become putty in his hands and get very subbie very quickly lol. He did it in the elevator at the hotel and put me in a headspace where I was so damn spaced out I didn’t even register the person who got in the lift lol. Things are coming to the fore rather quickly and he mentioned last night I was almost eager to jump into alot of things. I am in a way because i have been building myself up slowly over the last few months and exploring myself in a deeper sense, finding out what I wanted and what was important.

The journey has well and truly begun, he makes it easy for me to trust him and with that follows a very eager wee wolfie, almost greedy hehe. He says next time he wants to fuck my ass he’s going to make me beg … and I know I am going to get very red when I do but I know I will beg lol.