There’s sub frenzy, which is pretty much self explanatory, the craving desire or need to experience some form of dominance whether it be little or alot, most submissives in this state will grasp at any form of dominance they can feed off. The majority of the time they run head first into a situation that is not healthy because of the “itch that needs to be scratched”. It’s not a nice state to be in and many are unaware they are dealing with it.
Then there’s sub drop. Everyone in this lifestyle who undertakes any kind of exciting play, whether it be cyber based, physical, mental, or any combination of these can suffer from some form of sub drop. It’s not just about being in a scene and experiencing it after play, it can be sutle and sneak up on you when you least expect it.And you don’t have to be in a 24/7 situation to experience it either.
The first weekend I spent up north I did experience it, extremely drained, almost withdrawing a little into myself, I go quiet, and I get very tired, I also had neck tension but I didn’t put my finger on what it was. I should have. I dealt with it a few times within the long distance relationship I had. I don’t give a rats ass if someone thinks “oh, whatever, it’s long distance, she couldn’t have”. Unless you have been there don’t make assumptions. It is something I learnt to deal with, lack of physical touch made it almost unbearable but we found ways around it.
I have been a little down the past couple of days and I put it down to tiredness but it’s not. I am coming right now and it’s fine because I am aware of it. It’s been such a full on couple of weeks and I have really not had much downtime, one of my major faults, I never know when to just stop and take a break. Being a full time single parent takes it’s toll as well and trying to find that time for myself is something I always struggle with.
Anyways I am going off track a bit. There was a comment in one of the discussion threads on Fetlife about a sub not being able to put the brakes on and “a need” … immediately I saw “she’s in a sub frenzy state” … and she isn’t aware. That’s why it is so important to subbie’s to have a good network of friends they can talk to when they get to these points. It helps a hell of alot. And most importantly to be able to talk to people who have dealt with it personally and can see the signs. It keeps us safe and emotionally supported.
Below are a couple articles worth reading, and may be helpful to some…
How do you deal with it? Did you even realise you were dealing with it at the time?
Do dominants experience a form of Dom drop?
Updated… looky what vixen found Dom Drop
Av
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 10:37:
I always experience sub drop straight after an intense scene, and most of our scenes are intense!
I cry irrationally straight after, then sometimes calm down, then cry more uncontrollably. he holds me and tells me he loves me, eventually I potter about tidying up which seems to help, and have a cup of tea, sit and watch TV with Master, and eventually all is ok again.
Its the endorphins and the sudden disconection from the deep subspace mindset I think.
The disconection from the deep powerful scene thats just been played out centred around you, then suddenly your detatched, and feel lost and set loose when all you want is to be held tightly.
velvet_steel
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 16:56:
Top drop? Oh yeah; it’s well known.
dragonmage
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 17:03:
Absolutely. I just had the worst case of it I’ve had yesterday. It’s not as widely known or discussed as sub drop (from my experience) but it certainly exists. In this case, I was about 36 hours after the scene when it hit me like a ton of bricks. (There’s a short post about it on my blog. There’s at least two threads about dom drop on fetlife, also.)
vixen
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 17:56:
@Av …oh god yes some of your scenes are intense *huggles*
@velvet_steel … big kitties need their downtime too
x
@ dragonmage … I notice it’s not commonly spoken about, I wonder why that is as it’s just as important as sub drop and something subs should be aware of too.
surrender4love
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 18:08:
I am really glad that you did this post. For some reason sub drop never occurred to me as a reason for some of the emotional stuff that I have gone through and then it just hit me reading your post.
Thank you,
surrender4love
vixen
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 18:58:
Awww glad it could be of help surrender4love xxx *hug*, sometimes we don’t realise its hit
carnalis
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 19:45:
such a useful post … i had heard the expression before, yet never associated it with the disturbing state that i have found in myself. I often have a long journey home, from a hotel room, and i become detached from situations around me, weepy, physically disorientated .. i try and avoid having to drive. Occasionally i return to my parents’ house and find myself tucked into bed with a warm drink as if i were an upset child – i am mature woman with kids of my own!
I have always associated this upset with my feelings to do with ‘him’ but actually (so i now realise) they are more to do with my state of submission – which is something i can own, and hence control.
thank you (and to Dee for sharing the post, which is how i found you)
vixen
on Aug 27th, 2008
@ 19:54:
It’s always nice to have new readers pop in and comment, much appreciated
I thnk for alot of subs they don’t realise the differences and how sutle it can be sometimes. And also that dominants also experience a drop as well, we tend to forget they are human too.
Thank you to those who contacted me personally to share x
trinity-pup
on Aug 28th, 2008
@ 01:49:
This is brilliant to read vixen….. it’s something i have experienced nearly every time after scening with SG and i understand it now, but couldnt quite put my finger on it a few years back. i never really knew what it was then. Being held and comforted by Him as well as knowing that i am loved is what helps me through.
t. x