Bored with replying to dumb messages in your inbox? Let the insultmonger generator do it for you

“Do you speak any language that non-gibbering idiots can understand? Just as the strength of a solitary brick will not save a poorly built structure, your bold typeface does not redeem your craven incoherent words.”

“To sum up: I’d rather pass the world’s largest kidney stone than read another message from you.“

“Mark my words, you menace to the innocent, for you will parachute naked into the world’s prickliest cactus.“

It’s just as well you can type, for if you had to speak your mind, you’d be speechless. Does your train of thought have a caboose? Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: “You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

Warning these only work on people who can actually read…

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