What is your favorite word?
Fucktard (yes i have a potty mouth if you didn’t know that already)
What is your least favorite word?
Slut used incorrectly
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Love, music, passion and sometimes pure emotion be it bad or good
What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Melancholy states can have an adverse effect
What sound or noise do you love?
Drums loud drums, the sound of storms raging, waterfalls, the sea
What sound or noise do you hate?
People arguing
What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Hairdressing would be kinda cool lol or a make up artist
What profession would you not like to attempt?
Anything to do with McDonalds or the likes lol ugh
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Oh fuck not you, quick send her back hehe

I generally don’t like that word but today is an exception.

Karma is not about retribution. Karma is about evolution, about change.

Karma is cause and effect. If you show by your actions that you have not

learned what you should have, you will be taught.

Karma is the lesson plan you set up for yourself. It is the lessons you

still have to learn, the steps in growth you still have to take. The Gods

don’t punish, they teach. Each lesson will come back to you, each time more

difficult until the cosmic 2×4 hits you over the head and you take notice.

*hits self over head and repeats … people are generally cunts*

There

I feel better now

smiles

now fuck off and quit reading my blog

you’re not welcome here

(you know who you are)

Disappointment

AN old man planted and dug and tended,
Toiling in joy from dew to dew;
The sun was kind, and the rain befriended;
Fine grew his orchard and fair to view.
Then he said: “I will quiet my thrifty fears,
For here is fruit for my failing years.”

But even then the storm-clouds gathered,
Swallowing up the azure sky;
The sweeping winds into white foam lathered
The placid breast of the bay, hard by;
Then the spirits that raged in the darkened air
Swept o’er his orchard and left it bare.

The old man stood in the rain, uncaring,
Viewing the place the storm had swept;
And then with a cry from his soul despairing,
He bowed him down to the earth and wept.
But a voice cried aloud from the driving rain;
“Arise, old man, and plant again!”

Paul Laurence Dunbar

She dwells with Beauty – Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil’d Melancholy has her sovran shrine,
Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue
Can burst Joy’s grape against his palate fine;
His soul shall taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

John Keats

This is an article that was floating around in a discussion thread on Fetlife.  I was actually surprised as it seemed to be taken in a negative way and “oh I can’t or am not all of those things” … like it was some sort of competition, sad as it was, I decided rather than write there I would dissect it a little in my own thoughts.  The article is interesting as the psychological side of things is very strange in that is how I grew up, I am well aware I am a product of my childhood, I also understand it.

I don’t look at my admitting I am a submissive, or that the relationship I seek is wrong, it is who I AM and what I NEED.  Simple.

I don’t see what the big fucking deal was really ….

The healthy submissive is capable of, and thrives on, intense, intimate, emotionally open relationships. This is often evident in the number of nourishing, sustaining, and life affirming friendships she makes over the years.

Yes absolutely, and the friendships I have had for a number of years are on a level where we are free to talk about pretty much anything without fear of judgement.  We’ve learnt to listen to each other and accept things.  We don’t have to agree, sometimes agreeing to disagree, we accept each other as we are.  I love it.

The healthy submissive is a giver. She often needs help to ration herself because her impulses nearly always lead her to want to do good for others.

Oh yes, this is the crux though, we don’t know when to stop often getting ourselves into situations where we can stretch ourselves too thiin and we forget to have a little time left for ourselves.

The healthy submissive is capable of intense joy, especially in the context of a sustaining relationship.

Also capable of intense sorrow, one doesn’t come without the other.  When we disappoint our Masters/Dominants/Owners we feel it tenfold.

The healthy submissive finds significant relaxation when properly related. She is at ease in that place.

I always have trouble with this one.

The healthy submissive has finely tuned interpersonal sensitivity. She is reactive to subtle shifts in the emotional tone of others.

Very, if the environment is stressed, angry or whatever I tend to take that on, normally having to remove myself from the situation.

The healthy submissive has a fluidity of self, a flexibility that enables her to adapt to changing circumstances.

Very, with levels of trust and intimacy that increases massively. In everyday life it excels.

The healthy submissive is playful.

Mischeivious, playful and a little bit norty … sometimes mistaken for brat.

The healthy submissive has no more than the usual cultural conflicts about her body, and its goodness and beauty.

Always something in a woman’s life to a degree. We wouldn’t be women if we didn’t.

The healthy submissive takes pride in her accomplishments.

Very much so

The healthy submissive accepts herself as she is, knowing that while her culture values independence and self sufficiency, she has strong dependency needs and that there is no inherent “wrongness” about those needs.

Absolutely nothing wrong with who I am … a needy submissive cheeky brat

The healthy submissive seeks nourishing relationships.

Relatonships with depth, intelligence, fun, sharing and growing.  It’s what life is all about.

The healthy submissive, in accepting herself “as is” is tolerant of others. But neither will she allow anyone to tell her what her truth should be.

100% in agreement. I am tolerant but if it doesn’t “fit” with me then thats how it is.

The healthy submissive has a reasonable self concept, aware of her difficulties as well as her strengths.

Only too well sometimes, no one is perfect we all have strengths and other areas that need a little bit more help.

The healthy submissive hungers to be the object of an intense and penetrating understanding. When her nature is understood and she is held in a loving and firm frame, her devotion is almost limitless. The healthy submissive has an enormous capacity for devotion, from which springs her service.

Limitless yes, a submissive has a certain quality that excels in the right environment, some of us grew up wondering what the hell was wrong with us.  It’s also termed as “needy” … it goes way beyond that word in such a positive way and those who understand that and cherish that aspect are worthy of being called Dominants.

An interesting article and one I can relate to well… (how many of you do?) read here

…Please note that we are still talking about the healthy submissive here. Such a woman will have minimal conflicts about being constituted the way she is, whether or not she is intensely masochistic. It just is the way she loves, different loving, so to speak. It never stops feeling loving to her, as long as she is in service to, and “suffering” for, a loving Dominant. Once she has unraveled the knots of her culture’s values, she will not be seriously conflicted about her sexual nature or desires. She will have an intense, expressive, emotionally intimate and meaningful sex life within the safety of the hold of her keeper.

Let us not then mistake the submissive need to follow for weakness. Let us not mistake the submissive’s capacity for relatedness to inability to be alone. Let us not mistake the submissive’s vital, joyous sexuality for self-destructive masochistic equivalents: self-mutilation undertaken out of rage or despair.