Three screen names you’ve had: Little Miss Ebil, Raven, Sabbath (all gaming ones hehe)

Three parts of your heritage: English, Scottish, Kiwi

Three things you are wearing right now: Bad kitty t-shirt, black hoodie top thing, socks

Three favorite bands/musical artists: At this very moment Black Label Society, Missy Higgins, and umm shit NIN

Three things you want in a relationship: lots of squishy hugs one can never have enough, dreams to share, love & passion.

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeals you: a grabable sexy butt gorgeous eyes, a lap I can curl up on hehe.

Three of your favorite hobbies: reading, drawing, writing

Three things you want to do really badly right now: LOL the obvious, have a damn good kinky romp with a yummy man, then sleep but before that I think I need another coffee

Three things that scare you: Spiders, flying insects, earthquakes

Three of your everyday essentials: Coffee, my phone and pens & paper

Three careers you have considered/are considering: Make up artist, Teacher, Web Design

Three place you want to go on vacation: Germany, Spain and the UK

Three things you want to do before you die: own another dog, watch my son grow into a gorgeous man, find a soulmate.

Three things you love: storms, music, sleeping because when I finally do sleep its bliss lol

And on that note I am off to bed, spending the day doing some retail therapy tomorrow woop x

You know you see it time and time again and it makes you sigh. People shoved into “perfect” little boxes so they make sense to everyone else.  The thought police.  Society.  The one thing I love about genuine kinksters in general is the fact they can be comfortable being who they are without judgement. They are wise and practical, safety and love and understanding.  Being real.

The online world is rife with people who just want a hook up.  It’s not just the kink sites, its the dating sites as well.  It makes it harder to find genuine people, you have to sift through all the debris to find the gems.  The “gems” are what makes it worthwhile.  You watch sites like Fetlife grow and you see what begins as the usual dramas, and boy there have been some doozies of late.  The put downs, the sheer nastiness.  Instead I read the fun threads, the informative ones.  The old saying “why can’t everyone just get along” but human nature dictates there will always be power struggles even within the kink communities.  It’s the same on every site.

Labels suck they force people into holes. And that’s what is happening on Fetlife.  Good old human nature.

A friend mentioned something the other day that made me think a little.  Her friend lives near me somewhere, she sees me walking alot (I don’t drive) and she refers to me as “the goth chick” apparently because I have black hair and I wear black alot I suppose fuck knows why to be quite honest.  Isn’t it funny how people can judge so quickly without actually taking the time to get to know someone.  Hell we all do it, I’ve done it at times.  No one can stand on their soap box and plead innocence.  It’s just a point.

There’s no point to this post just some thinking points I suppose, things rumbling around in my brain.

People can be quite nasty you know.  This whole thing about if you don’t do this you’re not a submissive, this is the way you do this and if you don’t you’re not right … you know what … PHOOEY to that.  Meh.  What happened to being an individual, we all connect on different levels for different reasons, sometimes we don’t meld for whatever way but we learn, we make friends or we part ways.

I’m going to bed before I write more random crap. LOL its 2am.

You know coffee is a great thing especially when shared with a good friend.  Puts life into perspective.

I feel good today, and one step closer to working out what the hell I want in a Dominant and yes Max you were right lol, I will keep pushing forward but for now I am going to try spending time getting to know my new friends better.

I had a stress headache this morning.  Bastard things they are, I don’t get them very often but when they hit they are nasty.  I got woken up early this morning by a phonecall which put me in a grump lol.  When I finally do sleep I need sleep so being woken early ain’t cool especially because I stay up till normally 1 or 2am working.  The night is relaxing for me and quiet and its when I am most creative,  I have always been a night owl.

Today is download day and work later.  I am a total music freak hehe anything but rap and cuntry music hehe.  The joy of working on a chat site for a number of years was great, music freaks that became friends and we swapped loads.  At the moment I have a fetish for industrial stuff, rave music and the gothic rock scene, loads of cool bands are sneaking out of Finland hehe.  Apocalyptica is an awesome band.  How would one describe them, cello player with a kick hehe.  Check them out if you get the time there a bit of their music on youtube. At the moment Breaking Benjamin is a favie band.

I’ve become active on Fetlife quite alot, I have met some awesome people on there of late and enjoying talking to them all.  And a kink friend mentioned she might organise a shibari night and asked if I was interested in coming along so I am jumping for joy.  Have always wanted to try the whole rope thing hehe.  We used to make bits and bobs with rope when I worked with the horses and did the whole horse whispering stint. Such a versatile tool. And the thought of being bound is yum! So yay I hope we can organise something and I will finally get to meet her in person woo yay!

Anyways off out the door, horrible weather its pissing down outside ugh. x

I’m not afraid of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me that I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere, baby

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment and now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I will not forsake, the colors that you bring
But the nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears, and through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it’s tough, and you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now … my oh my

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment and you can’t get out of it
Oh love look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment and you can’t get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm till you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment and you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better now
You’re stuck in a moment and you can’t get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along the stony pass
It’s just a moment
This time will pass