You know you see it time and time again and it makes you sigh. People shoved into “perfect” little boxes so they make sense to everyone else. The thought police. Society. The one thing I love about genuine kinksters in general is the fact they can be comfortable being who they are without judgement. They are wise and practical, safety and love and understanding. Being real.
The online world is rife with people who just want a hook up. It’s not just the kink sites, its the dating sites as well. It makes it harder to find genuine people, you have to sift through all the debris to find the gems. The “gems” are what makes it worthwhile. You watch sites like Fetlife grow and you see what begins as the usual dramas, and boy there have been some doozies of late. The put downs, the sheer nastiness. Instead I read the fun threads, the informative ones. The old saying “why can’t everyone just get along” but human nature dictates there will always be power struggles even within the kink communities. It’s the same on every site.
Labels suck they force people into holes. And that’s what is happening on Fetlife. Good old human nature.
A friend mentioned something the other day that made me think a little. Her friend lives near me somewhere, she sees me walking alot (I don’t drive) and she refers to me as “the goth chick” apparently because I have black hair and I wear black alot I suppose fuck knows why to be quite honest. Isn’t it funny how people can judge so quickly without actually taking the time to get to know someone. Hell we all do it, I’ve done it at times. No one can stand on their soap box and plead innocence. It’s just a point.
There’s no point to this post just some thinking points I suppose, things rumbling around in my brain.
People can be quite nasty you know. This whole thing about if you don’t do this you’re not a submissive, this is the way you do this and if you don’t you’re not right … you know what … PHOOEY to that. Meh. What happened to being an individual, we all connect on different levels for different reasons, sometimes we don’t meld for whatever way but we learn, we make friends or we part ways.
I’m going to bed before I write more random crap. LOL its 2am.
petite1nz
on Jul 24th, 2008
@ 05:08:
I was thinking about this exact phenomena in the last 24 hours. How we are trained from the earliest stages of our lives to allocate boxes for everything we come across. It is a process that we need to go through because it makes sense of our world on a basic level. For example this is a tree, this is a car, this is a dog. But we have to grow and move beyond that. We need to enrich our language to be able to say this is an elm tree, this is a hatchback, this is a great dane. And then we can go further again (I would have to go google different types of elm trees and great danes and I’m too lazy to right now but I can tell you that Toyota makes a hatchback with either manual or automatic transmission ;-p).
Somewhere along the way life gets overwhelming and we start to simplify again…make assumptions, give lables, put in boxes. Then if we want to make another step we start taking things out of them and letting them stand on their own. It is the equivalent of 5am here and I’ve had about five hours sleep so I’ll stop my random reaction here.
Oh and have you read the gorgeous book My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes? xxx
vixen
on Jul 24th, 2008
@ 08:40:
Thank you for commenting hun, simple is good. And yes! That book was a favourite book of the wee autistic boy I looked after, I think I can still even remember all the words I read it so much haha. Good example
trinity-pup
on Jul 24th, 2008
@ 10:28:
Well said!!!
People are too quick to stereotype from our looks and i think its quite sad. Being different, an individual is what counts and i for one know i am glad to be that way 
t. x
vixen
on Jul 24th, 2008
@ 15:41:
People are much more fascinating when they dare to be different x
Dragon Mage
on Jul 24th, 2008
@ 16:18:
Stereotyping or putting things into boxes is a way that all people use to quickly sort things (as has been said above). The real problem comes in because stereotypes, by and large, are incorrect, and once the initial “sort” has been made, most people don’t/won’t make the effort to investigate/explore FURTHER to see what is really going on.
Bleh. The longer I live, the more I’m convinced that most people are stupid. Hrmm … there’s that stereotyping again. lol