Ok so I’m not weird ….
By · BitesToday’s post is bought to you by the letter F for fuckedupedness. Srsly.
I forget most of the time to actually check out what search terms bring people to my little lair on the interwebz. Stats whore, yes I am. I have spymeter installed so I can find referrals and yano, return the favour if I find things that interest me. So bored, insomniac and waffling on twitter I randomly thought hell I’ll go look at search terms on this thing and see what I find.
The orgasm meme … remember that? I am totally blaming subtle cause she said “wank” and I said ooorgaaaasm and well just cause I can *snikker*. Lo and behold I found freekin 14 search terms in relations to the word wank. Go figure. Some are just odd.
sore from wanking ~ must have been a good wank huh? sorry can’t help you with that one mate
wanking devices ~ shit umm hands, toys, other people, really the list is endless
a good wank ~ yup I haz those often
self wanking ~ ummm need a sex book I can recommend the Goddess Orgasm if you don’t know how … *grins*
when is the best time to wank ~ when you are horny? doh!
aunt gave me my first wank ~ dude I do NOT want to know … rly? I think I want to throw up
women catching men wanking ~ just ask to watch instead
last time you had a wank ~ today lunchtime actually, feel better now you know?
wanking headaches ~ eh?
old couple wanking ~ sings *lalalalalalalalala* ewww
sunday afternoon wank ~ why Sunday?
wank stress relief ~ wanking always relieves stress
urge to wank ~ yup people do, it’s true
wanking gif ~ make your own ya theiving swine sheesh who died and made me your slave huh?
how to have a good wank ~ have you met Mista Hitachi? *grin*
You thought that was bad check these ones out...
selkie pussy ~ yes selkie it seems someone thinks for some insane reason your pussy is on my blog
be my human toilet ~ err fuck off
toilet slave search master ~ nope sorry wrong person click on the x in the top right hand corner of your browser
gorgeous butt cheeks spread ~ not here mate, I’m not really into sticking my bumhole on my blog sorry, I’m far too private
fuck kitchen stool ~ one I don’t have a kitchen stool, two I have perfectly good sex toys that are a hell of alot better than a kitchen stool, besides stools don’t vibrate
looking for master to train a slave ~ err you or me? I’m confuddled. I suppose if you really want I can cane your ass if you ask nicely 
anti masturbation device ~ thats what we in the kink world call a chasity belt and no I don’t have one 
And on that note, most of these make me laugh but this last one didn’t …
underage erotic fiction ~WTF?
one: I’m a parent so that really fucks me off
two: I’m a geek and I can track your IP *wink*
three: I will NEVER write that kind of shit so bugger offskies sicko
And on that note I am off to bed. Enjoy.
I haz a weird
By · BitesQuirks. We all have them, some of us more pronounced than others. I have alot. Some days I forgot how weird they seem to other people.
Stuff like not opening a microwave until it’s stopped beeping, having to wear socks all the time, I have an organising fetish with certain things, yet I am crap at organizing myself. I cannot get into a messy bed, if I have to make it first I will. If things are moved about in my space I have to move them back to exactly where I had them. I won’t eat cereal with milk, I have it with yoghurt instead. I like a certain tea, other teas just won’t do. It’s a comfort thing. I sniff new books, I can’t help myself. I get off on bruises, and I get a kick out of poking them. I have days where I hate people and I want to be left alone.
Even when I work I go through a process, I have to settle into work, eat something, perhaps listen to music or watch something, to relax and get myself in a mode where I can work. If I don’t do all these things I can’t work, which is why over the years I have been better suited to jobs where I can work alone.
Odd, weird, crazy, nuts are all words that have followed me throughout life. I used to be ashamed of those words, like I wasn’t good enough or normal enough. I desperately wanted to be normal, fit in with people but it just never happened. Over the years I learnt to not be so bad, to not freak people out with my obsessive, quirky behaviour. It had a price though, I obtained a nervous waffling to cover up my insecurities. Sometimes I keep it in check.
Most days my mind works faster than the rest of me and my mouth opens and out it spews in torrents. So quiet times of solitude are good but it’s almost like there are two people inside of me, one that wants to be around people and the other who wants to be left alone.
I appreciate others who are eccentric and quirky, it makes me smile. They also understand me and I don’t have to find the words to explain the way I am. I love that.
Perhaps it’s why this movie has always been one of my favourites …
Heat ~ HNT #45
By · BitesThere is a being who lives in the wild underground of a woman’s nature.
She is our sensory nature. She is inquiring, relational,
bounding with energy sometimes, quiescent at other times.
Responsive to stimulus, music, movement, food, drink, peace, quiet, beauty, darkness.
It is here, in this aspect, there is heat. An underground fire that burns, it is wild, it is free.
It is here you will find sexuality, sensuality and the muse.
It is here you will find the untamed.
